Support vital after 'shattering' miscarriages

A Jersey mum has said support from a fertility charity was vital after "absolutely shattering" miscarriages.

Serena Fan and her partner, Benn Sheldrake, decided to try for their second child in 2024 but suffered three baby losses in a year.

Fan said "that is a lot for someone to mentally contend with" and the couple struggled to cope before they were supported by the charity Tiny Seeds and later conceived their second child, Fenix.

The charity's Mental Health and Wellbeing Survey found that 69% of respondents reported symptoms of depression, while 88% experienced anxiety and it has redeveloped its website to help islanders struggling during fertility challenges.

Fan said the experience "almost broke us apart" and "it is just heartbreaking, it is so upsetting and disappointing".

She added: "When you try to talk to family and friends about your miscarriage - lots of people say "it just wasn't meant to be" but why wasn't it meant to be?"

Fan and Sheldrake began going to Tiny Seeds meetings to share their experiences with couples facing similar challenges.

"It was incredible and it actually helped us understand where the other person was coming from," Fan said.

Fan hopes her story might help others experiencing similar problems.

She said: "Some days you'll have good days, some days you'll have awful days and those are okay.

"I've been part of the Tiny Seeds groups for a while, so it was quite hard to see that there's that many people struggling, but it also helps you feel like you're not alone which is what I think is really important".

Chloe Fosse founded Tiny Seeds more than five years ago after experiencing her own fertility struggles.

She said "the mental health toll when you're going through this is absolutely massive" and "it absolutely needs to be taken into account".

Fosse added: "It's normal to feel that way and that there is support available through us."

She said she hoped the new website would make it easier for islanders to access help.

"We've launched our new website, which is a first port of call for anybody that's going through a fertility struggle to have a look and help you understand that you're not the only one going through it."

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