Widow faces impossible choice as bereavement payments end

A widow has told how she was left facing an impossible choice after her husband's death - sell the family home or return to work and put her two sons into full-time childcare.

Lorraine Wallace, from Kirkcaldy, Fife, is now campaigning for changes to better support grieving families after her bereavement support payments (BSP) ended.

Her husband David was diagnosed with bowel cancer in January 2023 and died 21 months later, aged 44. He is survived by Lorraine, 42, and their sons Adam, 10, and 8-year-old Joey.

The UK government said BSP provided short-term support, while other benefits were available if longer-term income support was needed.

Since the payments stopped Lorraine has been able to work part-time while supporting her sons but she said that was no longer an option.

Speaking to BBC Scotland, Lorraine said: "My boys are already bereaved so it is natural for them to fear losing their other parent, and now in a time when they need me most I'm not going to be there.

"It is just me now, so I will have to rely on childcare before and after school. They will see me less and I will see them less.

"Grief isn't linear - 18 months doesn't pass and everything is magically fine, which is what the support payment expects of you."

BSP payments can be claimed by a spouse or partner following the death of a loved one and people can receive an initial payment of £3,500, followed by 18 monthly payments of £350, totalling £6,300.

The support is not means-tested, payments are not taxed and can be paid in addition to other benefits.

BSP payments have not risen since they were introduced in 2017.

Campaigners said they wanted to see the support extended until the youngest child reached the age of 18.

Lorraine explained: "If I don't go back to work, we could lose our home, we wouldn't be able to go on holidays and I'd have to tell the boys they can no longer go to their sports clubs.

"They shouldn't suffer more from this."

She fears the impact of being away from home so much will affect her two sons who already struggle with their grief.

Lorraine added: "The thought of being away from my boys really worries me. Their emotional needs aren't going to go away.

"They still need their mum around - they are still little.

"They are still primary school children who have had a horrific change in family circumstances which has had a huge impact on their life.

"Not only am I missing that one person in my life I thought I was going to grow old with, the life we built together has been whipped from under my feet."

Lorraine - along with 100,000 others who have signed the petition - is calling for the UK government to raise the payment and increase it beyond 18 months.

She said: "There are plenty of others who are going to find themselves in my situation - struggling financially and emotionally.

"David paid into his national insurance for 20 years - this outstrips what we have been given in its entirety.

"The hardest thing is I am wearing so many hats.

"I am trying to be their grief counsellor, their mum, their breadwinner as well as trying to navigate my own grief and support my children."

After a petition hits 100,000 signatures it can considered for debate at Westminster.

On Thursday Lorraine will be part of the group travelling to London to hand in a copy at Downing Street.

A spokesperson for the DWP said: "Bereavement Support Payment provides short term financial support, with higher amounts paid for those with children.

"Further help with everyday living costs may be available through benefits such as Universal Credit which provide targeted, means-tested support to those in greatest need."

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, support and advice is available via the BBC Action Line.