'Demeaning' and 'absurd': The backlash against a hugging grandparents consent ad

It's the consent campaign that's sparked heated debate across Ireland and beyond - so why has a social media ad about getting a hug from your grandparents been pulled?

The ad, described by an Irish government minister as "demeaning to grandparents", sees a house's front door opening to reveal an elderly couple.

They hug their grandson and lean into embrace their granddaughter, who looks uncomfortable before it quickly cuts to a graphic and voiceover.

"Not everyone wants a hug. Even from the people who love them. Awkward? Maybe. Important? Absolutely."

The tone is light-hearted, and the aim is to promote the importance of consent for children - but it has apparently landed with a thud in Ireland and with many online.

The ad, one of three, is part of a campaign called We-Consent, run by the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC).

The backlash has opened up a debate about changing norms, the role of family and how best to teach consent to children.

While some have described it as a waste of money, others have defended it as showing how children have differences when it comes to boundaries and that it is "not campaigning against grandparents".

Irish Justice Minister Jim O'Callaghan has been an instrumental critic - his department is one of the sources of funding for the campaign and its removal came after his officials intervened.

He said the video "does not represent the views of the government".

"It was both inappropriate and demeaning to grandparents and has been removed by DRCC following my officials engagement with them.

"While it is vital to ensure that people understand the concept of consent when it comes to sexual relationships, this video did not advance that aim and in many ways was counterproductive."

In a statement to Irish broadcaster RTÉ, the DRCC said the videos were "premised on the idea that boundaries should be respected from an early age and to respect others' boundaries too".

"We are going to remove the videos from our social media channels while we reflect on whether they are having the positive effect we want them to have," it added.

Fine Gael Senator Gareth Scahill, who is among the critics, said the video was a waste of resources.

"What's concerning here is public money has been used to fund an ad which at best has been ill-thought out, and at worst is offensive and potentially damaging to our older population," he said, adding that this "publicly-funded social media video is a million miles off the mark".

"What's next? Will we need to sign consent forms at arrival halls in Dublin, Shannon, Knock and Cork airports this Christmas before we can greet family members?"

A spokesperson for the Department of Justice said the videos were "produced by DRCC at low cost using volunteers and are not part of a government advertising campaign".

Meanwhile, Dr Eoin O'Malley, an associate professor at Dublin City University, said he believes the advert is the latest example of the state overreaching.

"You are seeing people pushing ideas that are beyond mainstream," he said.

O'Malley said that the importance of consent is reasonable to most people, but that the video is too extreme.

"The idea that there needs to be an ad telling grandparents that they shouldn't hug their grandkids, that they should look for permission in advance of that, seems absurd to most normal people.

"The Irish constitution is very clear that the family is the primary unit for teaching children and for raising children, and so to some extent this is kind of going beyond that."

However, the campaign has its defenders too.

Academic Dr Órfhlaith Campbell said it is not an attack on grandparents but instead aimed to highlight the importance of consent.

"The ad is highlighting differences in children's needs and the imp (sic) of consent. It is not campaigning against grandparents. Dear god in heaven!!!" she wrote on X.

An account named Danny Boy said it wasn't "discouraging grandparents from hugging children" but was "encouraging children to speak up" if they feel uncomfortable.

University of Galway academic Dr Eoin Daly said that while the video was "patronising", the message was correct.

Fine Gael councillor Lorraine Hall also defended the advert, and said the message of the video was intended to be "figurative" rather than "literal".