Why getting dressed can trigger daily meltdowns for some children

News imageBBC Naomi Potter has shoulder length dark brown curly hair and pink glasses. She is wearing a pink hoodie with 'haus' logo and his holding up a grey 'haus' hoodie. She is stood in her home in front of a white door and off-white wall and next to her is a grey sofa.BBC
Naomi Potter set up her own clothes company after feeling overwhelmed by the feeling of some clothes

Every morning, Zara faces the same challenge.

Her seven-year-old daughter Valentina refuses to wear clothes that feel tight, have rough fabrics or buttons. Labels are cut out of everything she owns. Finding an outfit she can tolerate can be exhausting.

"I'm always trying to avoid the distress, the exhaustion, the meltdowns, the difficulties in leaving the house," Zara said.

For Valentina, the wrong item of clothing can be overwhelming.

"When I put some stuff that I don't like on, I start screaming and crying and like, no, no, no, I don't want to wear this," she said.

News imageFamily Zara and her daughter Valentina have selfie together. Zara is on the right of the image and is wearing a grey woolly hat. Valentina is wearing a light pink woolly hat and lilac woolly jumper. Both are smiling at the camera.Family
Zara says finding clothes Valentina can tolerate is often a daily challenge

Stories like hers are familiar to many families navigating sensory processing differences, which experts say can be common among people who are autistic or have ADHD.

"It's maybe best thought of as this sort of continuum," explained Dr Cathy Manning, associate professor in psychology at the University of Birmingham.

"Some people are more reactive to sensory input, some people are less, and it's just more likely that those who are more reactive also have a developmental condition."

Sensory processing differences can affect touch, as well as sensitivity to light, sound, smell and temperature.

For Bridget, from Wellesbourne in Warwickshire, putting on the wrong clothes can trigger memories stretching back to childhood.

The 40-year-old, who has ADHD, said many people underestimate the impact unsuitable clothing can have.

"For me, if something feels wrong, it feels noisy," she said.

"I can remember as a child being made to wear clothes that felt wrong. And it's as if there was a very loud, aggressive white noise in the back of my brain all day that wouldn't go away."

Her experiences have made her more understanding of her own children's sensory needs.

News imageFamily A woman with blonde hair, tied back is kneeling down with her two children cuddling her. The two young boys have short brown hair and their arms around her neck. One is wearing a T-shirt which says 'old navy' and has the US flag on it. They are in front of a swimming pool at dusk with an orange sunset and palm trees and beach umbrellas behind them.Family
Childhood struggles with clothing have helped Bridget understand her own children's sensory needs

Parents told the BBC problems often became most visible during busy mornings, when children are under pressure to get dressed and get to school.

For Angela, whose 13-year-old daughter is autistic and has dyslexia and ADHD, school uniforms have been a particular challenge.

"Her sensory problems are more obvious when she's worried about something or anxious about something," she said.

"Socks are a problem, labels in the backs of clothes, especially at the neck, she doesn't like things being too tight under her arms."

Angela believes stricter uniform requirements can make matters worse.

"Uniforms have got so much more strict," she said. "It makes the anxiety more which makes the sensory issues more."

News imageAnais Lombard Anais Lombard sits with a bookcase behind her. She has long blonde hair and brown eyes and is smiling for the camera. She is wearing a grey jumper and is wearing two gold necklaces. She is leaning her head on her hand.Anais Lombard
Anais Lombard spent years researching fabrics after her daughter struggled with certain clothes

For some people, the difficulties continue well into adulthood.

Naomi Potter, a nurse from Nuneaton, was diagnosed with ADHD almost a year ago. After the birth of her second child and a diagnosis of postnatal depression, she found even getting dressed had become part of the issue.

"I'd never struggled with it myself until I got to a point where I couldn't cope," she said.

"Everything was becoming overwhelming so that even my clothes were annoying me and I didn't want to get dressed."

Looking for a solution, she began designing clothes that felt comfortable for her to wear. The project eventually became her own clothing company, CalmHaus.

Potter is not alone in trying to create alternatives.

London mother Anais Lombard spent years researching fabrics after noticing her daughter struggled with certain materials. The search eventually led her to launch Morning Marvels, which produces sensory-friendly children's pyjamas.

"From quite a young age we noticed there was certain fabrics she didn't like," she said.

For Zara, raising awareness remains just as important as finding practical solutions.

She hopes greater understanding will prevent other families feeling isolated by experiences that are often hidden behind closed doors.

"It's really sad as you do feel like your child is the only one who has these battles," she said.

"There's not enough education on this."

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