'Funding means I can help more bereaved people'

A woman who started a network of bereavement support groups after two of her sons died has said a £20,000 grant will help the network expand.

Shane Gayme's eldest son, 28-year-old Ben, died following complications from a double lung and heart transplant in 2012. Ten years later, Toby, 31, drowned in the River Severn in Shrewsbury.

Following Toby's death, Gayme started Shropshire Bereavement Group and now has six groups across the county, as well as one that meets virtually..

She said she was "over the moon" about the funding from the National Lottery, adding "I started shaking and welling up".

"Next year, we can plan things like going to Llandudno for the day, or go to the Ironworks," she told the BBC.

"Other places want me to open up, so having this lottery money, once I've got volunteers to help run the groups, I can expand to other areas."

Gayme said after Ben died, she turned to drink and became depressed, before speaking to a GP and getting specialist support.

She said that experience, though difficult, made her realise she did not want to take the same path again when Toby died.

"I thought, 'I don't want other people to feel like I do'," she said.

"It was like a lightbulb moment, I was sat in the front room and I thought, I'm going to put on Facebook, 'I want to support people'."

Responding to her call, a local business gave her some funding and a base in Castlefields, Shrewsbury.

"I got the funding, got the leaflets made up, put them all round town, got the tea and the coffees and off we went," she said.

The groups are free to attend and are peer-led, helping people talk to others, as well as listening to guest speakers and going to other events.

They meet across Shrewsbury, Oswestry, Telford and Whitchurch.

"People think… 'You've got to give yourself a time: 'I should be alright in 12 months, I should be alright in six months, three years, five years'," Gayme said.

"You're not going to be, you're going to be different, how can you not be?

"I like to think I give people hope with the right support."

She said she wanted to use the groups to show people there is light at the end of the tunnel.

"My life now is the groups, but I feel… it's the boys giving me the strength to do it," she explained.

"I could sit at home and wallow in self pity… but then I think, 'Where's that going to get me?'.

"This is why I do what I do now, and it's so rewarding. As well as me helping others, it helps me."

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