Mother with disabled son fears rise in intolerance

The mother of a boy with autism has said she is worried society is beginning to feel less tolerant towards her son.

Darrell said her son Dexter, from Devon, also had difficulties with speech and the mindset of a much younger child - but his disabilities were not immediately obvious.

She described him as "the most lovely lad in the world" but said he had experienced unpleasant encounters in public.

"Adults have whispered about him, gossiping and judging him, and there have been young children calling him the most disgusting names," she explained.

"It's just sad, really sad, and then I come home and think he's going to get it for the rest of his life."

The latest government figures show the prevalence of disability has been on the rise in the UK since 2002, with one in eight children and one in four adults reporting a disability.

Experts believe that over that time the number of hidden disabilities has also risen.

Darrell said her son loved swimming but his enthusiasm for the sport had recently been tarnished by a bullying incident.

"It's not the first time it's happened," she said.

"But this time because adults were unkind, it's really affected me."

She was so upset she said she started a campaign to include sessions for children with special educational needs and disabilities at a public outdoor swimming pool.

In the end she was successful and sessions are now held every Saturday morning for those with additional needs.

"I'm trying to make people aware that these children - these people - are humans too, and they're trying to navigate the world in their own way," she said.

She said of her son: "He's so happy and kind but he's not like other 14-year-olds."

Charlotte, 17, from Plymouth, is also among those who have hidden disabilities and she documents her life on social media.

She said she had a variety of conditions including ARFID - an eating disorder, a functional neurological disorder and a heart condition known as postural tachycardia syndrome. She said she was also autistic and had ADHD.

Charlotte said she was currently out of education because her needs could not be met.

"I've spent over 927 days out of full-time education," Charlotte said.she explained.

"I was unable to sit my GCSEs and I missed out on a lot of opportunities that my peers took for granted.

"Even things like school trips, school discos, everything like that is something that I've not really got to experience because of my disabilities.

"I do think that if my disabilities were more physically obvious, I'd have had a different experience."

Cornish artist Elizabeth Tomos has health problems including Fibromyalgia - a condition that causes pain all over the body, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

However, it appeared to others "there isn't anything obviously wrong with me", she said.

"I think it maybe makes it harder for other people to entirely understand what's happening," she continued.

"I think early on a few of my colleagues would notice for example, changes in my cognition, that I was maybe slower to process things, and that was a shock.

"My conditions... they can be quite isolating in that way."

Dr Suanne Gibson, a professor of inclusive education at the University of Plymouth, believes the rise in reported disabilities is partly down to increased awareness.

She said: "The system is perhaps becoming better at diagnoses.

"And I think young people are perhaps getting access to information and knowledge that they may not have had generations before.

"I think if we're able as a society - and as a system - to give everybody an equitable, fair opportunity at education, and we're enabled to get people successfully through their education and into the job market then everybody benefits.

"It's not just that individual – society does too."

Tomos said in the 10 years she had been unwell she had noticed an increasing willingness among young people to talk about conditions such as her own.

But "problems happen when you hit against systems ill-equipped and unprepared to make the changes needed to make a difference", she added.

For Darrell, constantly battling for her son Dexter to be accepted "is exhausting".

"We have to fight for our children all the time – we have to fight schools, the local authority, the system to get our children seen," she said.

"The last thing we want is to be fighting with people in public places because of their lack of understanding."