The friendships forged through a dementia bond

A group of women say their close friendship has come because of one woman with whom they have a shared bond - Geraldine Adams, the mother of two brothers, Jordan and Cian, known as the FTD Brothers.

They have remained close a decade after her death from frontotemporal dementia (FTD), continuing to meet for dinners, go on holiday together and support the family.

The women were among those who gathered at Bromsgrove's Artrix, the arts venue in Worcestershire, on Sunday night for a BBC event to hear Geraldine's sons, Jordan and Cian Adams, speak about their lives and their campaign to raise awareness of FTD.

"We're all friends because of Geri and although we know her differently we've all made friends with each other," Michelle West said.

A school friend of Geraldine, she added: "We all go on holiday now, we all meet up and have dinner together at each other's houses.

"We called it the Dinner Group so she brought us all together. She was just vibrant.

"Everybody would turn their heads when they saw her and she was just so friendly as well."

Geraldine was diagnosed with early onset FTD in 2010 and died six years later, aged 52.

Haidee Haines met Geraldine at Redditch College when the pair were 16.

"She became my best friend, my bridesmaid, and I became part of her family," she said.

Haines said Geraldine's own mother had dementia, making the diagnosis particularly difficult for her friends to accept.

"When Geri was about 39 or 40 we just thought this doesn't seem real," she added.

"She started showing the symptoms like her mum and it was horrible, to be honest."

The disease progressed quickly, leaving her friends caring for the woman they had known since they were teenagers.

"We had to celebrate her 50th when she had dementia and we had all planned to go on a big holiday to New York but we were dressing her, feeding her," Haines said.

"It was horrible."

Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) is a disease. It is caused by the progressive loss of nerve cells in the brain's frontal and temporal lobes. As those areas shrink it can lead to changes in a person's personality, behaviour and language.

This is not quite the same as "dementia", which is a general term that describes the symptoms of a large number of different brain diseases, including Alzheimer's.

FTD is unusual as it largely affects people in mid-life, between the ages of 45 and 65 - most other forms are found in older ages. There are different types of FTD, but estimates suggest about 31,000 people have some form of the disease in the UK, according to Alzheimer's Research UK.

Haines said Geraldine's children were still young when she became ill: "The kids were really young and didn't realise what was happening."

Her friends have since remained a constant presence in the lives of her children, supporting Jordan and Cian as they went on to raise almost £2m for dementia research and campaigned to raise awareness of FTD.

In May, the pair completed a mammoth challenge of running 33 marathons in 33 days.

"We're here to support the boys because we can see the future of what they will hopefully not go through," Haines said.

"We all went to Ireland to see them finish and we're just there all the time."

At Sunday's event, Haines watched Jordan and Cian speak while holding Geraldine's granddaughter, Harper.

"I felt emotional.

"Although we know it and we see it every day, watching those boys and knowing I'd got little Harper on my lap I was thinking this should be Geri holding her granddaughter."

She said she was proud of the brothers and their sister Kennedy.

"Watching them... they speak so well and I think that's why the country has got round them," she added.

"They're really clever and lovely boys. You could not wish for better sons and a better daughter.

"It's just unfortunate that Geri isn't here to see that."

For Jordan, having his mother's friends in the audience was a reminder that Geraldine's influence extends far beyond her immediate family.

"She lives on in every room we go into and for me, you look around the room, you see the row of all my mum's friends there with the T-shirts on.

"They still go away, they visit places that my mum went to, and they still stick together.

"We've stuck together as a family. She still comes up in conversations, in random cafes that I walk into.

"For me, I just wanted to know that she lives on through so many people, not just us."

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