The films cover:
- the feelings a child can experience as parents separate
- dealing with change and how everyday life can be different after parents separate
- ideas for dealing with difficult situations and strategies that may help a child build resilience
The first film looks at Seren’s experience of dealing with her mum and dad’s separation and the changes she faces as a result of this. The second film looks at suggestions for coping with a situation like this.
Themes: parental separation; mental health; coping with change; resilience; managing feelings.
Seren's story: Film 1
I was only eight when Mum and Dad split up.
I remember feeling a bit sad at the time, but I was busy with dance club and my friends and Cian and I always had fun when we went to stay at Dad’s new flat in town.
Dad always bought us loads of cool new stuff too. Everything’s been different since Dad met Kate though.
Things were okay at the beginning because we still got to see Dad a lot, but then, for some reason, he and Kate decided to move to Wrexham. That’s an hour’s drive from here.
Now, he just wants to be with Kate all the time and things are even worse since the new baby arrived.
I just don’t understand. Dad’s already got two kids. If he didn’t want to stay with us, then why did he want a new baby?
Sometimes I worry it’s my fault they separated in the first place.
I’ve tried to talk to Mum about it, but she doesn’t want to talk about Dad at all. She doesn’t even say his name these days.
We do go and stay with them in Wrexham a bit, but it’s really hard.
It’s hard seeing Dad so happy with his new family. I’m not sure where Cian and I fit in, to be honest.
It’s really hard living some of the time at Mum’s house and some of the time at Dad’s house too.
One time, I forgot my science books at Dad’s, and then I got into trouble at school for not doing my homework.
It’s a pain having to try and remember which clothes I should leave at Dad’s, and which I should leave at Mum’s too.
Mum doesn’t want me to take the clothes she buys for me to Dad’s. She gets cross when I do that.
I started secondary school around the same time as Dad moved to Wrexham. It’s really different from primary school.
I don’t see my old friends as much these days and I don’t go to dance club or anything like that anymore. But my new friends are cool.
I spoke to Meg, one of my new friends, about the whole Mum and Dad thing. Her parents have split up too.
Meg thought I should try and talk to Dad about it. She said that Mum and Dad definitely still love Cian and me; it’s just that they don’t love each other anymore. Maybe she’s right.
We’re going to Wrexham this weekend so I’m going to try and talk to Dad about it. I’m tired of worrying about it all the time.
Seren's story: Film 2
If your parents split up, it’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused or maybe even relieved. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel that way.
Maybe your parents separated a while ago, but it’s only now that you’re finding it hard to deal with. That’s okay too.
There isn’t one correct way to feel when parents split up.
A lot of people feel guilty when their parents separate, but you’re not to blame. Relationships break up for many reasons.
Your parents are adults and this is their decision. You’re not responsible for what’s happening. And although it might feel like you’re going through this by yourself, you’re not on your own.
Lots of couples break up. The children will sometimes then split their time between two homes, or live only with one parent, or spend most of their time with one parent and see the other on weekends and during the holidays.
Your family arrangement might be something else entirely. Your parents might discuss the new arrangements with you, now that they are splitting up.
It’s important for you to share your opinion too, and to ask questions if you have any.
It’s important that the school is aware of what’s going on at home too. Once they know, your tutor or Head of Year can support you and be there for you.
They can make sure that other teachers understand too, which could be helpful if you’re struggling to keep up with school work at the moment.
Change can be stressful, and if the new arrangement means that you’re splitting your time between two homes, that can be challenging.
One thing you could do, that might help, is to have some of your important items in both places. Things like a spare set of your school uniform or any other clothes that you need.
Sticking to regular activities can help too. If you go to a club or meet up with a friend regularly, try to continue to do these things.
Routines can be comforting when there are a lot of other changes in your life.
It is difficult when parents separate, and any change, especially a big life change like this, takes time to get used to.
It might not get easier to accept and you might not like a lot of the changes that are happening, but it will become more familiar with time.
And don’t forget that if you’re worried about something, you can always talk to your parents, your friends, your Head of Year at school, or a counsellor.
Possible activities
Activity 1 - Dealing with change
(Languages, Literacy and Communication; Health and Well-being)
After watching the first film, pupils could be asked to
Note three things that have changed in Seren’s life after her mum and dad split up, numbering them from the most challenging change (number 1) to the least challenging change (number 3).
Then, they could then be asked to share the most challenging change in their opinion with a partner, giving three reasons to support their view. Can the partners reach agreement on the most challenging change in Seren’s life – or is there a difference of opinion?
Sentences and vocabulary that could help pupils to present their viewpoint when completing this persuasion / discussion task:
| In my opinion… |
| It is absolutely clear to me that… |
| I think this because… |
| This is difficult because… |
| This is challenging for Seren because… |
| The most challenging change is… |
| Without a doubt… |
It should be emphasised that there is no right or wrong answer and that everyone copes and deals with challenges differently. Pupils could also be asked to think about how situations or challenges can feel more easier or more difficult at different times.
Further activity: Pupils could be asked to choose one of the challenging changes they discussed in the previous activity and think of two advantages that also relate to this situation. For example, only seeing Mum at the weekend = an opportunity to spend time having fun with Mum; having to see parents apart from now on = an opportunity to develop good relationships with both parents individually.
Activity 2 - Recognising emotions
Pupils could be asked to create a graph to record the range of emotions Seren experiences during the film (Health and Well-being; Mathematics and Numeracy; Languages, Literacy and Communication).
Further activity (Expressive Arts): Pupils could be asked to choose one of the emotions from the graph above and to use digital software to design a simple emoji that conveys this feeling. In designing the emoji, they could be asked to think about the following:
design of familiar emojis – what do pupils think makes them effective? Colour / Shape / Special characteristic?
what colour would be suitable for the new emoji?
which shape would work best?
if intending to create a character – which feature would be most important in the design (eyes / mouth / hands etc)
Activity 3 - Create a life ‘jigsaw’
Pupils could be asked to create a jigsaw, either on a piece of cardboard or using suitable digital software, of everything that is important to them (Expressive Arts; Digital Competence).
The jigsaw could contain:
drawings or photos of family members, friends, pets
images of their favourite activities / clubs / hobbies
images which represent their hopes and aspirations for the future
Curriculum links
Health and Well-being
- I can see the benefits of communicating about feelings as one of a range of strategies which can help promote positive mental health and emotional well-being.
- I can understand how and why experiences affect me and others.
Mathematics and Numeracy
- I can interact with others, talking and writing about my thoughts, feelings and opinions showing empathy and respect.
Where next?
Alys's story. video
Alys is feeling sad and lonely as her best friend has become close friends with another girl. How will Alys cope with this? What can she do to make herself feel better?
Elis's story. video
Elis's mum died this year. In these films, we see how he adjusts to life without his mum and also learn how someone could help support a friend who is grieving.
Health and Well-being (Wales) 8-11
More English medium resources
