Me ya sa yadda ake kallon fushin mata ke sauyawa?

Mawaƙiya Chase Ghalia ta daɗe tana danne fushinta, saboda tsoron kada a ɗauke ta a matsayin mai hayaniya ko kuma wadda ake ganin akwai wuyar sha'ani aiki da ita.

Ghalia ta bayyana cewa, daga nauyin tunani da mata ke ɗauka, zuwa wariyar jinsi a wuraren aiki, har ma da manyan matsaloli kamar cin zarafin mata, "ba ma gane yawan abubuwan da muke jurewa, ko kuma irin yadda muke yin shiru a kansu."

Yanzu dai, ta ce ba ta ƙara danne fushinta: "Idan wani ya yi min tsokaci marar dacewa a kan titi, ina matuƙar fusata, kuma ban damu ba."

Daga wuraren aiki zuwa al'adun zamani, masana na ganin cewa mata irin Ghalia mai shekaru 34 suna magana game da fushinsu fiye da da kuma a fili fiye da yadda suka saba yi a baya.

Masaniyar ilimin halayyar ɗan adam Tara Brach ta ce:"Abu mafi muhimmanci shi ne cewa akwai wani muhimmin abu da ke bayan fushi. Fushi ɗan aike ne mai ɗauke da saƙo. Yana ba mu ƙarfin da muke bukata domin kare kanmu, tinkarar rashin adalci, sanya iyaka, da kuma kawo canji."

To, wane tasiri hakan ke da shi ga rayuwar sana'a da ta kashin kai ta mace? Kuma me za ta iya yi domin magance wannan batu?

"Matsalar son zama kyakkyawa ko yaushe."

"Matsalar zama mace ta gari"

Masaniyar ilimin halayyar ɗan adam kuma mai rubuta littafi, Jennifer Cox, wadda ita ma take ɗaya daga cikin masu gabatar da shirin fodkast mai suna Women Are Angry, ta fara bincike kan fushi ne bayan ta lura cewa danne fushi da matan da ke zuwa asibitinta ke yi yana daga cikin manyan abubuwan da ke haddasa wasu matsalolin lafiyar jikinsu.

Ta ce "Na fara ganin wani tsari mai maimaituwa a tsakanin matan da suke gaya min cewa suna fama da ciwon kai mai tsanani, matsalolin ciki, ciwon ƙasusuwa da tsokoki, da kuma matsalolin garkuwar jiki. Daga ƙarshe, ya zama abu da ba za a iya yin biris da shi ba."

Ta ƙara da cewa "Suna ƙoƙarin tabbatar da cewa komai ya tafi daidai ga 'ya'yansu, suna kula da lafiyar tunaninsu, kuma a lokaci guda suna neman hanyar gudanar da ayyukansu."

Daga baya, Cox ta shirya zaman tattaunawar rukuni inda mata da dama suka samu damar bayyana da kuma fitar da fushin da suka daɗe suna dannewa.

Ta ce "An tashe mu ne da waɗannan ra'ayoyi marasa ma'ana cewa dole mu zama 'yan mata nagari. An koya mana mu kasance masu kirki, masu ladabi, masu tausayi, masu la'akari da sauran mutane, kuma masu kula da su."

Ta ƙara da cewa "Babban sauyin da aka samu idan aka kwatanta da al'ummomin baya shi ne cewa abubuwan da ake tsammani daga gare mu a yanzu suna buƙatar mu ɗauki alhakin kusan komai."

Tara Brach ma ta amince cewa fushi yana da muhimmiyar rawa.

Ta ce "Fushi yana zama mara lafiya ne idan ya mamaye rayuwarmu ko kuma idan muka aikata abubuwan da za su jawo lahani gare mu ko ga wasu."

Domin amfani da fushi ta hanya mai amfani, Brach ta ba da shawarar a yi atisayen lura da kai musamman dabarar RAIN , wadda ta ƙunshi:

Gane motsin zuciyar da ake ji (Recognize),

Yarda da kanka ka ji su (Allow),

Binciken musabbabinsu (Investigate),

Da kuma renon fahimta da tausayi ga kai (Nurture).

"Fushi a wajen aiki"

Yan Dang, wadda ke koyar da dabarun rayuwa ga mata masu manyan muƙaman jagoranci a fannoni da maza suka fi rinjaye, ta ce fushi mai ma'ana da inganci na iya taimakawa wajen ƙarfafa matsayin mace a wurin aiki.

Ta yi imanin cewa matan da ke ƙoƙarin faranta ran kowa tare da guje wa nuna mummunan motsin rai na iya kaiwa wani matsayi a harkar aikinsu, amma kaiwa kololuwar matsayi sau da yawa yana buƙatar ƙalubalantar tsarin da ake ciki da kuma jagorantar sauyi.

Ta ce "Mu mata muna da ƙwarewa sosai wajen koyon ƙa'idoji idan mun san su, amma ƙa'idojin duniyar kamfanoni sun sha bamban."

Ta bayyana cewa mata da yawa sun fahimci cewa za su iya yin fice a karatu muddin suna aiki tuƙuru kuma sun shirya sosai. Amma suna iya fuskantar ƙalubale idan suka shiga wurin aiki, inda hanyar samun nasara ba ta da cikakken haske kamar yadda take a makaranta.

Akwai ƙarancin bayanai kan fushin mata a wuraren aiki. Duk da haka, ɗaya daga cikin sabbin binciken da aka wallafa a shekarar 2020 ya gano cewa galibi ana kallon matan da suke bayyana fushinsu a matsayin waɗanda ba su cancanci matsayi da tasiri ba, alhali ba kasafai ake yi wa maza irin wannan hukunci ba.

Dang ta ce muhimmin abu shi ne sanin yadda za a yi amfani da fushi da kuma karkatar da shi ta hanyar da za ta nuna ainihin yadda mace take ji tare da isar da wannan saƙo cikin gaskiya.

Ta ba da shawarar mata su yi amfani da kalamai kai tsaye kamar:

"Ina matuƙar adawa da wannan."

"Ba na son wannan."

"Ni ma wannan ya ba ni takaici."

Ta kuma shawarci mata da su bunƙasa ƙwarewarsu ta kare kansu da bayyana ra'ayinsu, ko da kuwa har yanzu ba su shirya ba wajen bayar da cikakkiyar amsa mai tsari da cika bayanai.

"Sauyin Al'adu"

A baya, ana yawan nuna haruffan mata masu fushi a fina-finai a matsayin masu matsalar tunani ko kuma masu haɗari. Misalai sun haɗa da Alex Forrest, wadda Glenn Close ta buga a fim ɗin Fatal Attraction, da kuma Carrie, wadda Sissy Spacek ta fito da ita a sanannen fim ɗin da aka samo daga littafin tsoro na Stephen King.

Sai dai, a cewar Cox, a yanzu ana ƙara ganin ingantattun misalai na mata masu fushi a kafafen yaɗa labarai, kuma waɗannan hotunan suna da lafiya da amfani fiye da na da.

Misalai sun haɗa da kundin waƙoƙin Lily Allen na shekarar 2025 mai suna West End Girl, wanda ya bayyana ƙarshen aurenta da ɗan wasan kwaikwayo David Harbour cikin gaskiya da buɗaɗɗen bayani. Haka kuma akwai mawaka irin su Charli XCX, Olivia Rodrigo, da Chappell Roan, waɗanda suka fitar da waƙoƙi masu ɗauke da hotunan tashin hankali da ma bayyana fushi ta hanyar kururuwa.

Cox ta ce irin waɗannan hotuna suna taimakawa wajen sa fushin mata ya zama abin da al'umma za ta ɗauka a matsayin al'ada, domin suna gabatar da shi ba a matsayin alamar tabin hankali ko rashin daidaito ba, sai dai a matsayin sahihin martani na motsin rai ga abubuwa masu wahala da kuma rashin adalci.

A cikin fim ɗin Barbie mai matuƙar samun nasara a shekarar 2023, an nuna shahararriyar tsanar tana bayyana takaicinta da fushinta game da duniyar da ake ɗauka a matsayin cikakkiya kuma marar aibu.

Baya ga wariyar jinsi da mata ke fuskanta a rayuwarsu ta yau da kullum, barazanar da ke ci gaba da addabar su, ciki har da bibiyar mutum ba tare da yardarsa ba, cin zarafi, da kuma tashin hankalin cikin gida, na taka muhimmiyar rawa wajen ƙara haifar da fushi da ƙin yarda da zalunci a zukatan mata.

Laifukan da suka shafi cin zarafin mata da 'yan mata suna wakiltar kusan kashi 20 cikin 100 na dukkan laifukan da aka yi rajista a Ingila da Wales, duk da cewa ana kyautata zaton ba a bayar da rahoton yawancin irin waɗannan abubuwan ba.

Ga Ghalia, samun damar yin magana cikin buɗaɗɗe da gaskiya tare da sauran mata game da abubuwan da ta fuskanta na ƙyamar mata a masana'antar kiɗa, da kuma cin zarafin jima'i da ta sha, ya taimaka mata sosai wajen fahimta da kuma tantance asalin takaici da fushin da take ji.

Ta ce:"Ina ganin mun daɗe muna fushi, amma yanzu muna iya haɗuwa da sauran mata ta hanyar kafafen sada zumunta."

Ta ƙara da cewa tana jin cewa mata a yanzu sun fi yadda suke a baya buɗewa wajen bayyana mummunan motsin zuciyarsu kamar yadda yake a zahiri, ba tare da ƙoƙarin rage kaifinsa, gyara shi, ko kawata shi ba.