Here's a truly shocking story from the Telegraph, sent to us by Ouch's very own Liz Main. Under the headline Don't look now, but they've dropped the dwarf, the report reveals that a remake of the classic British movie Don't Look Now is to drop its most crucial character: a terrifying, "knife-wielding dwarf".

What is the reason for this dreadful omission? Well, the producers of the remake believe that "the dwarf is not frightening enough for a modern audience" and is "too old-fashioned".

Crippled Monkey finds himself unable to decide whether this is a step forward - disabled people are no longer frightening to audiences! - or a step back - we're too old fashioend! And we can't play nasty characters because we're not scary enough! Damn. Can't win with this one.

Scariest disabled character of all - Davros, leader of the Daleks - was unavailable to comment when Ouch tried to contact him for his opinion about this news.