Festival features

Colin the Tipster

Well, it's February, oh boy I'm getting very excited now - oh yes I am!

If you're going to the Festival, or even if you're not, here is some special language you may hear because a lot of the terms in racing talk are made up of slang.

For a start, bookmakers are known as the enemy so when you "go and see the enemy" (!) here are a few betting words which you could have ago at:

Odds

Yours and mine and up and down - even money
Ear hole - 6/4
Bottle of glue - 2/1
Bottle and a half - 5/2
Carpet - 3/1
Double carpet - not 6/1, but 33/1
Tom mix – sixes, or 6/1
Net - 10/1
Apple core - 20/1

How much

The minimum bet with a bookie at the festival is a Lady Godiva - that's a fiver, after that other amounts with their own slang names are a net (£10), a pony (£25), century (£100), monkey (£500) or a grand (£1000).

So now you know what to say if you would like a thick 'un (that's a big bet) but take it from a man who knows - only back what you can afford to lose and don't cock a deafen (refuse to listen) to that advice!

If you would like a smaller bet you could go to the Tote who take £2 win or £2 each way, up to whatever you like. Look for the lady in red, red being the colour of the uniform worn by the Tote’s employees.

Selecting your horse

If you go to the parade ring, look out for pointers like horses which bounce along as they trot around the paddock, ideally you are looking for a buzzing horse which is one that is going to run for its life and win. You may be wary of a job horse which is a horse that's been heavily gambled on.

If you are ear-wigging, that's listening in to what other people say and hoping to get a good tip, beware of horses that are either over the top (its best form is behind it) or a morning glory (a horse that is good at home, but no good at the racecourse).

You could do racing by the stars - horoscope suggests a birthday winner is possible, you could do transfers, or jockey birthdays or you could just look at the form of the horse at Cheltenham - do they go well up the final hill or don't they? It's horses for courses!

The race

So, when you have put your Lady Godiva on with the enemy and you have got you bins (binoculars) ready, just look for the white flag - no it doesn't mean they've surrendered, that's when the runners have arrived at the start.

When they are off you need your horse to settle, if it is scrubbed along - said of a runner whose jockey is moving his or her legs backwards and forwards in time with its stride – then that's not a good sign, but it's even worse if your horse is feeling the ground, because that means it experiencing discomfort on the ground which is not good at all.

But if your tip is going like a good one, powers up the Cheltenham hill and you are going mad with excitement and you win - yes it does happens sometimes - you go back to the enemy, if you now have an apple core instead of just a Lady Godiva then that's a good return.

P.s. If you are going to the festival, look out for me - I'm the handsome one in the red BBC Radio Gloucestershire red coat!

Gloucestershire Trainer's Championship update

It looks like a two horse race between Nigel Twiston-Davies and Charlie Longsdon. But Racing is a funny old game, so who knows - good luck to all of you!