Listless
- 31 Jul 07, 02:30 PM
I can’t be doing with lists on Blogs. I know the hypocrisy of that statement as one who used to have a blog with nothing on except shopping lists. But that was different, that was social comment on the purchasing patterns of… Actually as I’m writing this I’m thinking “what a loser – get a life you sad person”.
Anyway, lists. What’s the point? Does anyone really care about your ‘Top Ten Things I’ve Done With A Shoe’? Or ‘My Top Ten Paving Stones’. Are we a country obsessed with lists of every kind? Apart from that small diversion with shopping lists, generally I’m not a list person. I’ve tried making lists, but they tend to be To Do lists made up of stuff I’ve already done so that I look really efficient.
I realise that the more organised of you out there rely on lists. I knew one woman who had a list of all the lists she had – one of which showed a detailed plan of all the Christmas presents she’d bought and for who over the past ten years, which is fine so long as you don’t sit next to her on a busy train when she unrolls it.
Making lists so you don’t forget things is a good idea, but why make lists of random things? The worse ones are the ‘100 Things About Me’ lists which still seem popular and pointless. I’m not sure I even know 100 about me, so why I’d want to know a hundred about you is beyond me.
All this was sparked by The Marple Leaf who has listed “ten things worthy of comment” following a trip in Manchester. It includes Piccadilly Gardens and Chavs. Despite what I’ve said about lists, this is probably one of the better ones as it wasn’t just a list of single words and provided a little more substance. But it is a list just the same.
Awards
I’ve already mentioned that I’m judging this year’s Manchester Blog Awards again. Here’s an early one – the Award For The Blog Entry That Was Great Until The Second Sentence Went And Spoiled It All. It goes to A Free Man In Preston for “Me and Girlfriend tramped through the fields looking for somewhere to let off my rocket.” For the rest of this post, click here. I should be ashamed of myself.
Manchester Blog Awards 2007
- 24 Jul 07, 05:01 PM
How on earth can someone forget how to use a potato peeler? Stupid or what. Next I’ll be telling you that someone once tried to open a tin of corned beef with their bare hands after the ‘key’ broke, only just managing to avoid severing a glove full of fingers. Or what about the guy who stuck a sink plunger to his fat skull pretending to be a Dalek and ended up wandering round with a massive love-bite on his forehead. I mean really, some people should never be left alone. But I get bored.
Admittedly I was still in middle school when I did the latter two, but the potato peeler incident happened on Monday. The youngest member of the family begged me to serve up ‘proper food’ for a change and so I decided to invest in a bag of Maris Piper. Perhaps I was holding the potato at the wrong angle or upside down but the blasted peeler seemed more interested in my skin rather than anything else. I just wanted to smash it all to bits.
Fortunately I’ve not been asked to comment on potato peelers, but I have been asked to judge this year’s Manchester Blog Awards. Nominations are now open so get along to The Manchizzle for details. It’s not in my nature to take bribes, well perhaps just that once but I didn’t inhale, so don’t even think about it. It’s amazing to see how Manchester Bloggers have developed over the past twelve months so I’m expecting a much harder job this year.
Now, does anyone know how to use a coat hanger?
Back on Terra Firma
- 24 Jul 07, 09:38 AM
There’s something mildly disturbing about watching grown ups ripping apart a floral Wallace and Gromit display. Flowers and soil everywhere. Young children elbowed out of the way and people standing on other people’s heads.
For most of the week Wallace grinned at me from under his blanket of flowers. Crowds gathered in the sun or rain to widen their mouths and say “Smashing toast Gromit” or “Not even Wensleydale?” And then on Sunday afternoon over the PA system at the RHS Tatton Flower Show came the announcement that the big sell off was going to happen fifteen minutes early due to the bad weather. Panic.
I’m not sure if you are aware of what happens during the sell off. Basically it’s a free for all as people try to buy up the plants that have been used in the show gardens.
Some gardens don’t even bother selling and just allow the locust-like public to gorge themselves on whatever they can grab. Bags and wheelbarrows appear from nowhere and it all goes a bit crazy. And then, at 5pm, the Show closes and the swarms of heavily laden visitors head back to the car park to try and decide which child they should leave behind in order to get that free laburnum on the back seat.
How different the mood from the Wednesday when it was RHS Members Day and the most frantic moment was when someone knocked over a jug of Pimms.
It’s so good to be back in Manchester and perhaps some kind of normal service will be resumed.
Road comedy
- 18 Jul 07, 08:53 PM
What’s the point of those little signs people stick in the back window of their car? ‘My other car is a Porsche’ – yeah right, like my other wife is Bridget Fonda. ‘Free sex lessons. See driver for details’ – is that after you’ve rejoined the human race? Am I supposed to laugh at these while stuck in seven miles of standing traffic on the M60?
Actually I have laughed twice this week at signs on vans. The first one was written in the dirt on the back of a white van ‘There are only two tools in this van’. I kept in the driver’s blind spot in case he and his mate saw the tears on my cheeks.
Then this morning on my way to the Tatton Flower Show I saw another van that made me laugh. This time the message was painted on. It said ‘This vehicle was supplied after a non-fault accident’. What in blazes is a non-fault accident? In the eyes of every insurance company none of their drivers are at fault, it’s always the other guy to blame even though he was on holiday in Poland at the time you drove into his 2CV. Or am I wrong. Perhaps they have a whole fleet of vans all painted up ready for every occasion. ‘This vehicle was supplied after an accident caused by the driver reversing into a tree while painting their toenails.’
Blogs
Staying with cars and things like that, they don't come very often, but when they do it's well worth the wait. I'm talking of course about postings on the Airport Diaries. His latest offering reveals the terrible truth of the airport car park. Enjoy and perhaps consider public transport in the future.
Can I say thanks to Where Did I Go Wrong for posting a picture of Homer Simpson next to the Cerne Abbas giant. I heard about it on the radio but missed it in the papers.
RHS Tatton Flower Show
- 17 Jul 07, 10:44 AM
The RHS Tatton Flower Show is going to be great. It’s going to be just like Glastonbury, except that instead of music there will be plants.
The place will be crammed full of ageing horticulturists looking at alpine gardens and remembering the good old days when they were young, had too much rhubarb wine and on a whim bought a trolley load of saxifraga.
The thing I like about being there on the Show build days is that you meet all sorts of experts. Guys who know things like how to tow a bus out of sinking mud.
You can also rely on solid local knowledge. Within minutes the blue skies had turned black and torrential rain arrived. I was stood next to a guy who only lived a mile up the road. ‘That’s it now mate’, he said, ‘it’s set in for the rest of the day.’ Within minutes the sun came out and we didn’t get so much as another spot all day. I looked round but the guy had gone. Perhaps he’d nipped home to get the washing in or to write tomorrow’s horoscopes.
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it has been raining quite a bit these last few weeks and the forecast for the RHS Tatton Flower Show isn’t what we were all hoping for. I think the guy who made a fortune on Japanese parasols last year is going struggle, unless he can get a shop load of that waterproofing stuff they force you to buy when all you really went in for was a pair of opened-toed wellies.
Oh la la!
- 16 Jul 07, 09:42 AM
Bonjour mesdames et messieurs et bienvenue à ce petit pâté en croûte de meringue de citron qui a été couvert en peinture verte. I dropped French when I was eleven, but it’s strange how much you can remember when you need to.
You see, Saturday was Bastille Day and it comes as no surprise that Craig McGinty popped along to the Bal Enchanté at Platt Fields to soak up the Manchester take on how to do things French. “Many French people who have made Manchester their adopted home rolled out the picnic blanket and uncorked the wine bottles.”
The picture shows a couple of traditionally dressed French ladies explaining the finer points of French Cuisine. Picture by Craig McGinty.
The final drops of the Manchester International Festival have now been squeezed out. Mancubist popped along to The Lowry for Final Fantasy, but not before sampling Heston Blumenthal’s Chilled Summer Treats. “It’s a shame I didn’t have time for the mushy pea sorbet.”
Meanwhile IckleWeb found his way to Salford Quays to see New Young Pony Club.
So that was last week and this is this and I’m heading off to the RHS Tatton Flower Show until Sunday. Expect appeals for warm clothing, blankets and Red Cross parcels come Wednesday.
If you’ve got green fingers and are at Tatton during the week pop in and say hello. I’ll be the guy hanging around the BBC Manchester Garden cramming information about all things horticultural as I’ve been invited to sit on a Gardener’s Question Time-type question and answer session and at the moment the only thing I’m really capable of doing in the garden is throwing the snails over the wall into next door.
Manchester International Festival: Day 17
- 14 Jul 07, 08:43 AM
If this was a long running American TV show it would now be building into a fantastic season close. Carefully twisted plots and themes interspersed with clever dialogue and the occasional red herring. We’d have filmed two alternative endings just in case the press got a sniff of which character was going to say adios as an out of control shopping trolley full of baked beans pinned them to a cardboard cut out of a huge toilet freshener.
But it isn’t. It’s a blog. And we just keep going, although we do need to draw to a close our coverage of the Manchester International Festival.
It’s interesting to look back through my notebook at some of the things I’ve written down that didn’t make it to the blog. These are little observations that seem pertinent at the time and I presume that I must have had big plans for how they would form the backbone of one of my posts. In the cold light of day, however, I begin to wonder if I’m slowly losing my sanity.
I should point out that when reviewing things in cinemas or theatres you have to write in the dark. It’s not easy. Often your best lines end up on your chinos, or worse still Kevin Bourke’s. But anyway, here’s a selection of the ones I can decipher.
“Old woman looks like the one at the beginning of Ghostbusters”
“Gary Barlow’s too high for the girls”
“New bulb for church toilet” (NB That may not be Festival related)
“Get to seat early and listen to the harps being tuned”
“Some of the seats had napkins on them”
“Baked potato nightmare”
“What would happen if the orchestra followed the sign language person instead of the conductor?”
Jazz
For my final proper Festival event I popped into the City Café at teatime on Friday for a spot of Jazz courtesy of the Eclipse Saxophone Quartet. Against a backdrop of umbrellas heading up to Piccadilly Station after a busy week in the office, the guys gave us a cracking arrangement of Gershwin’s Summertime. With an up tempo beat and a Latino feel I found myself sinking into my comfy chair while sinking my teeth into the comforting homemade beef burger (with fries and ketchup). I’m terrible with accents, but I think the waitress was Irish, or American. She said that the Festival may be coming to an end but it looks like the jazz may continue at the City Cafe. Fantastic.
The End
So as the dancing curtains of Il Tempo del Postino fall gently on the ripped wallpaper of Johnny Vegas’ Interiors, we say goodbye to the Manchester International Festival.
I will forever hold in my heart the sorrow of Orpheus. I will always be indebted to Alan Rickman for his microphone skills. I will cherish my time in the paparazzi scrum for the best Denis Hopper picture. I will live in fear of death in case I’m surrounded by two dozen women spinning plates. But above all, I will never be able to watch a Cleopatra film again, well not unless I’m standing up.
Shall we do it again in 2009?
Blogs
Mancubist has been to see Il Tempo del Postino at the Opera House. "As was always going to be the case, this was a very hit-and-miss show."
Manchester International Festival: Day 16
- 13 Jul 07, 09:05 AM
I’ve not checked my e-mail yet, but I know for a fact that there will be at least a dozen offering me a deal on Viagra. I’m thinking of forwarding them to Alex Poots so that the Manchester International Festival can buy a supply for a certain bull that didn’t ‘perform’ at last night’s world premier of Il Tempo del Postino.
Perhaps it was first night nerves or perhaps he was distracted by the two half-naked women peeing on the stage or the Cleopatra-like woman with her hand up her bottom. Did I just write that? I need to check my notes.
It’s OK it wasn’t a dream. I really did see all that with my own eyes on the stage at the Manchester Opera House, but I will just check my notes one more time.
I knew before the piece – Guardian of the Veil by Matthew Barney and Jonathan Bepler – that I was in for something different. Something challenging. Apart from what was going on stage, all around the auditorium were actors dressed in IRA-type uniform brandishing ukuleles. Let me tell you, if that was the chosen weapon of the paramilitary group in the seventies the troubles would have ended a long time ago.
Cock and bull
So planned or otherwise, the cock and bull story put around town that a live animal was going to be relieved sexually on stage, turned out to be all bull. Take away the urinating women and the guy with the dog strapped to his head – sorry didn’t I mention that? There was this guy with a dog strapped to his head. Anyway, take those bits out of the performance and there’d be nothing to write about as everything else happened at a pace half the speed of a drifting continent. We could have all left at 10 o’clock and gone to a Tupperware Party or something.
It wasn’t meant to be the climax of the evening, but at the last minute they decided to switch the programme round. I overheard Alex Poots telling someone that they felt it was better to finish on the Guardian of the Veil as it represented the end of civilisation. Or performance art or the Manchester Opera House.
Earlier we had a more diverse selection of art installations pass before our eyes like those colourful dishes at YO! Sushi. Dancing curtains, Chinese Opera, some woman singing Love Will Tear Us Apart in total darkness and people talking very fast like they do at cattle auctions. At one point the stage lights came on the reveal the entire audience looking back at itself. We were the performers and we were expected to perform. Any slight noise from the auditorium sparked a reaction for the orchestra (made up from students at the RNCM who probably get up to all this kind of thing on a Thursday night anyway).
Sometimes it felt like I was watching some kind of Salvador Dali version of Opportunity Knocks at other times it was just plain weird.
Anyway, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
Blogs
Mancubist has been to see The Pianist. "this is where the festival should concentrate if it is to succeed: by inviting some of the arts world’s leading figures to help shine bright lights on Manchester’s hidden gems."
Manchester International Festival: Day 15
- 12 Jul 07, 09:07 AM
As The Cunning Little Vixen was billed as a ‘unique family concert’ I thought I’d take one the family along for the ride. That ride turned out to be forty minutes in the car listening to Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance. Loud. “Did he just sing the F word?”, “Yes”, “But I let you go to see them in concert”, “Yes! Thank-you Dad”. What must other parents think of me?
By the time seven o’clock came round my ears were begging me to listen to something a little gentler and so we took our seats in the Bridgewater Hall. “Don’t expect any of that bad language in here, young lady. This is a family film, so let’s sit quietly and watch the little fox at play.” Several killings later, and I knew they were dead as the hens had crosses for eyes, a whisper came into my ear, “This is great”.
What we were watching was the animated tale of The Cunning Little Vixen accompanied by Manchester’s Halle Orchestra playing the score before our very ears. It soothed them with a faultless performance. But there was more to come.
I got the impression from all the advertising that the Cunning Little Vixen was the star of the evening’s performance, but I was wrong. After a short interval we were back in our seats for a wonderful performance of a new piece called Alphabicycle Order. This was a collection of children’s poems by Christopher Reid set to music by Colin Matthews. The Halle were joined on stage by members of the Halle Youth Choir and Cantores Roborienses along with Henry Goodman who narrated several of the poems.
The half hour piece took us on fantastic voyage through the alphabet from Alphabike to Zagzig. The children in the audience loved it. Their parents loved it. I loved it and so did the offspring. Sadly, not for the first time at the Festival, empty seats were aplenty in the Bridgewater Hall. The whole thing was over by nine, and even on a school night I would have thought that they could have managed a packed house, after all, it’s what it deserved.
Week Two
And that got me thinking. Here we are in the middle of the second week of the Festival and a bit of the steam seems to have gone out of it. Monkey is a distant memory and even For All The Wrong Reasons holds some pleasant afterthoughts. But the atmosphere has changed. Even the Festival Pavilion has seemed more subdued this week. Is it Festival fatigue, the weather? Or do we need something on the scale of Monkey to take us through the second week? It does feel like it needs a bit of a poke with a stick.
Perhaps the controversy that’s beginning to surround tonight’s premier of Il Tempo del Postino will spark a bit more excitement for us. If the reports are true, then those that have tickets can expect urinating women and an over stimulated bull. The Manchester International Festival website has gone so far as to publish a Summary of Risk Assessments:
“The Festival has undertaken a comprehensive process of risk assessments to establish that the show can proceed safely.
The Festival and its partners have put the safety and welfare of the people and animals working on this production as the highest priority at all times.
The Risk Assessments involve health and safety experts and an independent vet. They look particularly at ensuring that the show is safe in terms of Public Health & Safety and Animal Welfare..
The animals involved in the show are accompanied at all times by experienced animal handlers with the independent vet in attendance. The people working on the show are fully briefed by their managers about the risks and the safety procedures.”
Fortunately junior is off to see Harry Potter.
Blogs
While I was sat in the 1830 Warehouse on Tuesday, the more financially affluent members of society were over at the MEN Arena watching Barbara Streisand (or Streetlamps as my spellchecker would prefer). Some paid up to £500 for a ticket. Julia at Notebooks paid considerably less if I’m any judge of where she was sitting - based entirely on the pictures she took. I suspect she had to have a safety harness on.
Sean in the Stalls is a blogger from London who's been up to see the festival. "For £5 you could try a mini portion of strange ice cream, mushy pea sorbet or strawberry and vanilla sundae with olive and leather included."
Manchester International Festival: Day 14
- 11 Jul 07, 08:48 AM
I’d forgotten how entertaining unreserved seats could be. Despite my ticket telling me I was sat in seat GA3 14, it was in fact every man for him self. Brilliant. Half a dozen or so people wasted good seat finding time looking for row numbers, while all around them others dashed around the performance space trying to work out where the best view would be. Of course those that arrived late had to sit in a dark corner and think about what would have been if only they’d not stopped off on the way for nibbles.
The Pianist is based on the memoirs of Wladyslaw Szpilman, a Jewish composer and concert pianist living in Warsaw during the German occupation in 1939. It’s a mix of readings, performed with true emotion by Peter Guinness and piano pieces from Szpilman’s concert repertoire played by Mikhail Rudy.
I found a seat that gave me an uninterrupted view of Rudy’s finger work as I expected that in the 1830 Warehouse at the Museum of Science and Industry, there would be little else to look at. Guinness did walk around the Grand Piano a lot delivering his sometimes graphically disturbing account of Szpilman’s time alone and hungry hiding from the German’s in an attic – and we were there with him. At times in near total darkness, wondering if the odd creak of the floor was an early warning that the guards were about to come in and find us.
Wonderfully staged, beautifully lit with a music score that would have filled the place on its own, The Pianist is no doubt be another of those events that will help cement the future of what has been a fantastic Festival.
Typecast
Are us journalists really that bad? I picked up my ticket from the Box Office and the young volunteer behind the desk confirmed with me that I was from the BBC. “Well the bar is just along there, but don’t forget that they won’t let you into the performance if you’re late.” Just to be on the safe side, I consumed nothing but the chilled night air.
Tonight
More classical music tonight, so I’m off to The Bridgewater Hall for The Cunning Little Vixen.
Blogs
Local Edition is not a Manchester Blog, but it does carry a review of The Pianist from someone who is happy to travel anywhere to see a good show.
Ben Musgrave is the author of Pretend You Have Big Buildings which premiers at the Royal Exchange this week as part of the Festival. He’s been blogging about the experience.
Finally I think I may have touched one of Greg Hall’s nerves, “I was harassed live on BBC Radio by Richard Fair, who was claiming that I was making a film "about Manchester", and that it was an unfair representation of the City.”
Manchester International Festival: Day 13
- 10 Jul 07, 08:57 AM
Apparently the quietest thing you can eat in a cinema is a prawn sandwich. This reliable piece of cinema etiquette comes to me from If you're sad and like beer... and she should know as she spends a lot of time eating prawn sandwiches or in the cinema, or both.
If you're sad and like beer... was just one of over twenty Manchester Bloggers who came to the BBC Manchester Blog Meet in the International Festival Pavilion. All huddled round various laptops like striking workers around braziers, we were somewhat conspicuous with only a couple of late comers asking if we were the bloggers. I'm not really sure who they thought we may have been sat there with more gadgets than Curry’s on the table.
It’s not the first meet-up we've had so it was nice to see so many new faces. “I like to put a face to a blog”, as Stephen Newton put it just before a myriad of camera flashes went off as bloggers took pictures of bloggers while other bloggers took pictures of bloggers taking pictures. And then they do that thing that people with digital cameras do. They come and show you the picture they just took.
“That’s you”. “Is it? Me? Gosh, I look just like I do in the mirror, only you managed to capture by bad side and my mouth looks like I’m hiding a gerbil in it. And this is going on Flickr? Oh, it’s already there. How fantastic is that”. But that’s technology for you. Gone are the days of grabbing the camera off them, opening the back and exposing all the film.
People blog for different reasons. You get those hardened bloggers - the ones that turned up with their laptops and passed free WiFi passwords round like Russian spies (sorry Julia) - the ‘If it moves, blog it’ type. Some don’t actually know why it is they blog - and some don’t admit to blogging as though it’s some kind of social disease – “I don’t blog myself, but I blog for others”. For some it’s a hobby, for some it’s a diary, for some it’s their work, for some it’s a way of networking, for some it’s a way of making money, for some it’s exhibitionism, for some it’s none of the above. They just do it because.
Thanks to all those that turned up. I must admit at being slightly worried about the picture of the cup that was left behind (see below). Nuts and bolts? Perhaps there’s a need for a blog about things people leave behind after blog meets.
Festival Pavilion
I had the offer of tasting some of Heston Blumenthal’s Chilled Summer Treats last night, but I decided to stay with the Bloggers and instead sampled the slightly warmer Mushroom Stroganoff in the Festival Pavilion. A good portion of mushrooms in a creamy sauce on a bed of rice with extra vegetables and salad served on a stylish plastic plate. All that and change from a tenner.
Under the canvas of the Pavilion with the rain outside I felt like I was on holiday in North Wales, the only difference being that Mum and Dad never had a live band playing folk music from around the world. The band was called “Muhumphamum” I think, or it could have been “Medhomemonth”. I made a proper effort to listen to their name when they were thanked at the end, “Mphftplumb”, I think the MC said but I may have been wrong.
Tonight
I’m off to see The Pianist. It’s had rave reviews so I can’t wait. I may even take a prawn sandwich with me for company.
Blogs
Those that blogged about last night’s meet are as follows (I will update this as more appear):
Notebooks
Cybersoc
Spinneyhead
Paul Hurst on Flickr
Mersey Basin Campaign Blog
It's a Blog Not a Log
Craig McGinty
Mamucium
More pictures on Flickr
Some Photos from Bloggers Meetup
- 10 Jul 07, 12:08 AM
The flickr mosaic above was made using fd's flickr toys @ big huge labs. Got your own photos of the evening? Tag them with bbcmanchesterblog so that we can find them.
By the way, did anyone lose a cup (top left) full of short screws and nuts?
Bloggers Meetup at Manchester International Festival
- 9 Jul 07, 07:40 PM
We're at the Pavilion, the meeting place for the Manchester International Festival, outside Manchester Central, the building formerly known as the G-Mex. Tag your photos with bbcmanchesterblog so we can find them. It's a blog! Not a log! has some good shots of the night up already.
We're inviting bloggers in attendance to produce their own videos and upload them straight from their mobiles or via email to a specially set up channel on kyte.tv:
Manchester International Festival: Day 12
- 9 Jul 07, 09:14 AM
I learned two lessons last night. Firstly, I have no idea where to start when it comes to reviewing classical music. I popped along to the Bridgewater Hall to see the world premier of William Orbit’s Orchestral Suit. I must admit I like classical music. I know the kind I like and the kind I don’t like, but put me in a room full of classical music geeks and you might as well put me in a glass jar and label me ‘thick cut’.
But I’m told that have to pass some kind of comment on the music, so here goes. It was great.
Not enough? OK, how about this. A single piano note repeated was joined by a harp and a violin and one of those horns that looks like it had been wrapped round someone’s neck six times. And then all the other members of the BBC Philharmonic joined in with various wind and wood instruments. I want a kettledrum. They’re really cool, but a bugger to get on the tram.
So, William Orbit. Fantastic, although someone did describe him as having a face that had been 'lived in'.
I was sat close to a couple of guys who look like they write for Classical Music Magazine or String Monthly or Horn of the Week, so I must look out for a copy and see how they’ve approached it.
I’m also going to look out for a review of the Polish Rap Night taking place in Jillys on Oxford Road when I passed.
The second thing I learned was that no matter how desperate things get, no matter how late you are to get somewhere, never run for a bus while wearing a loose top and strapless bra.
Tonight
It's the BBC Manchester Blog Meet in the Festival Pavilion from 6pm. I'm sure there will be lots to talk and blog about. I've also got an appointment with some of Heston Blumenthal's Chilled Summer Treats.
Blogs
Kapital is getting a bit of a rough ride across the board. Stephen Newton says that it's been "Shot in a way that makes Manchester looks like a flimsy cardboard film set". While If you're sad and like beer... says "Kapital is abysmal". I guess the DVD will not be on many Wish Lists this Christmas.
Manchester International Festival: Day 11
- 8 Jul 07, 08:41 AM
Many a true word spoken in jest - well not quite true. It wasn't actually a heat wave, but the sun did shine on The Great Indoors yesterday. Fortunately some of The Great Indoors was outdoors so I managed to catch a bit of much needed Vitamin whatever it is you get from the sun.
The Great Indoors is a whole family event with crazy musical instruments, circus (human and insect), John Hegley, Gingerbread Men and loads of other things that the young 'uns will tug at your trousers and skirts demanding to 'go on'. And what's more it's free. Free I tell you. So if you missed it yesterday, go today, there's only tennis or Cliff Richard singing on the telly.
Tonight
At the time of writing I've just had to fight my way through a wave of singers from the Manchester Chamber Choir who've been rehearsing at the BBC. I think they were heading out on a synchronised shopping spree to Primark to find something suitable to wear for the show at The Bridgewater Hall. It's the world premier of William Orbit's Orchestral Suite and I don't doubt for one minute that it will be anything less than brilliant.
Manchester International Festival: Day 10
- 7 Jul 07, 09:55 AM
Love. Love love. Love, love, love. Love. Love. Love love, love. It doesn’t quite work the same written down as it did when I heard it on Art Radio. Basically they’d taken the word love out of hundreds of songs and strung them all together into one long audio piece. I missed the beginning, but I’m guessing it was called ‘Love’ or something wittily similar.
Anyway, that’s what I listened to as I was driving into town yesterday. The day before it was some bizarre mix of an old foreign language lesson where all the non English words had been replaced with birdsong. I can now order a large beer, yellow socks and medicated toilet paper in sparrow. It’s art you see and so Art Radio is a really good name for the experimental station broadcasting this kind of stuff on FM and the Internet.
I was thinking about do a recording of me cutting my toenails and sending it to them, but somebody has probably already done it mixed in with a Whitney Houston track.
If you pop into the Cornerhouse you can see the radio station at work up on the second floor, not that there’s a lot to see, but then radio’s like that.
Up on the top floor however, there’s something far more interesting to watch. It’s The Assembly by Rachel Davies, a one time member of the Manchester Girl’s Choir. The installation opens with spoken memories from former members of the choir, moves on through an interesting mix of Gary Barlow and the Girls’ Choir singing Want You Back for Good - apparently he gave his personal permission for the song to be used. Finally there’s a wonderful piece of creativity with the entire choir dressed in blue falling over. You really need to be there.
I also popped into the Central Library to see the Queen and Country exhibition by Steve McQueen (no, not the one that was in The Great Escape). A large wooden box contains a series of vertical draws that when slid out reveal large sheets of stamps made with photographs of British soldiers killed in Iraq. I’m not sure that stamps are a fitting tribute to those that gave up their lives, but the families seem happy with the whole thing. What I did find slightly chilling after looking at a number of these sheets was to open a drawer and find it empty – perhaps just waiting for the next ‘killed in action’ face to appear.
Blogs
Tom Kerswill introduces us to Not The Manchester International Festival, while we get Triffid.org's view on Monkey. I'm not quite sure what mubinahmed.com is all about, but they're encouraging you all to come to our Blog Meet on Monday, so I'll give them a mention (for free). Don't forget to let us know if you plan on coming.
Today
I’m off to spend the afternoon at Manchester Central for The Great Indoors. It promises a whole weekend of activities and adventure all inside Manchester Central. Expect a heat wave.
Manchester International Festival: Day 9
- 6 Jul 07, 09:14 AM
It’s like banging your head against a brick wall. Honestly, some people. You rave about something and then they ask you if you really liked it. And marks out of ten? Nine, no ten. Really? OK, eleven or twelve. Look, I really hate marking things out of ten. If I give something top marks then there’s nowhere to go when something better comes along. I gave Monkey: Journey To The West a nine.
Then along comes Dead Wedding and I’m forced into giving it a ten. Don’t get me wrong, it deserves it. Not that it’s any better than Monkey, it’s just amazing for a Waitrose trolley full of other reasons. The puppetry, the story adaptation, the visualisation and the music (more about that in a moment) were all outstanding. But by giving it the perfect ten, I’m left high and dry if something better comes along. So from now on, I’ll not be engaging on a scoring system. If I’m asked to mark out of ten I shall make a mockery of the whole scoring system and respond with something really funny like – “marks out of ten, um, fifteen.” Unless it’s crap then I’ll say something even more funny like - “marks out of ten, um, have you heard the one about the man who sticks his fingers up your nose?”
So anyway, Dead Wedding. It’s a fantastic theatrical adaptation of the Greek Myth telling the story of Orpheus. Putting into words what Faulty Optic did with their wonderful sets and puppets is almost impossible, what I will say is that it was like an opera without words.
Mira Calix’s music provided the perfect canvas for the characters to paint the tragic tale of Orpheus searching for his dead bride in the underworld. What followed was a dark, nightmarish performance with Heath Robinson-like stage props mixed with surreal film and gentle animation. And the music, did I mention the music? Always just enough to set the scene or to submerge us into a fantasy of electronic effects mixed with live music.
I did say on BBC Radio Manchester last night that after Monkey, this is the next ‘must see’ at the Manchester International Festival and I wasn’t kidding. But hurry it’s only here until tomorrow at the Library Theatre.
Johnny Vegas
Are Kevin Bourke from the Manchester Evening News and me the only two people on the planet who ‘got’ the whole Interiors thing? We sat next to each other last night at the Library reliving some of the highlights of Interiors. Kevin was rather amused to learn that the much talked about pan-rack of Mr Vegas’ performance was in fact really his and to add to the irony it was bespoke. Of course you’d need to see the performance to get all of that and can I suggest you ignore all the other reviews and what people may have told you and what you may have seen on the telly and try your hardest to get hold of a ticket.
Kapital
I met up with Kapital director Greg Hall last night. I don’t think I gave him too hard a time over his film, which I didn’t really enjoy (and I’m not the only one – see Reel Review). I did question his portrayal of Manchester and suggested that he could have filmed the kind of ‘underbelly’ in any town or city and that by suggesting that Manchester was central to the themes was perhaps a tad unfair. To a certain degree he concurred. “I was asked to make it in Manchester for the Festival”. So it’s our own fault.
Sadly those expecting to see Kapital at Zion Art Centre were disappointed and so was Greg. Apparently they had to scrap the screening as the venue had been double-booked. Ooops.
Other blogs
It’s not really part of the Manchester International Festival, but Stephen Newton has been to see the Kylie exhibition at the Manchester Art Gallery. “I’ve always thought of Kylie Minogue as the poor person’s Madonna. They share a nasal whine and make disposable pop that’s sometimes quite good and often quite bad.” Read his full review here.
Today
I’m not sure my body could take another night in a theatre or cinema so I’m off to have a look at some of the visual art and installations around Manchester for the Festival. I may even tune in to a bit of Art Radio, the Cornerhouse’s short-term experimentation into alternative radio.
Manchester International Festival: Day 8
- 5 Jul 07, 08:54 AM
What is it about cinemas and people walking in half way through the film? Worse still, after about ten minutes some idiot two rows in front of you needs a comfort break. I could have a little sympathy if they’d suddenly remembered that they’d left the gas on at home or their granny on a treadmill in the Health Club, but they just want to go to the toilet. I would have had a good moan about them to the couple sitting next to me, but they were in the middle of some existential conversation. YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT AT HOME WATCHING TV.
Anyway, perhaps they thought they were at home as the film, Kapital, kept making me think of Eastenders, only a lot more depressing. At times I really could have done with Pauline Fowler to cheer me up or Ethel with a Willie joke.
Basically Kapital tells a series of fairytales from around the world, but with a big city (Manchester), contemporary spin.
I found myself struggling to sympathise with any of the characters and to be honest I cared more about the guy on the other side of the aisle who dropped his mobile phone half way through the movie than I did about anything on the screen.
Perhaps I’m being a little unfair. Those that stayed around for the question and answer session seemed to love it. The music by Steve Martland was stunning and the guy on the front row who’d just raved about what he’d seen (well he was in spitting distance of the Director) said that he could have watched the film with his eyes closed. I know what he meant.
The Q+A session turned out to be quite useful actually as it gave writer and director Greg Hall a chance to explain himself. “It’s all about emotions and feelings”. “The film is meant to be quite cryptic”. “It’s all about artists working outside of their comfort zones”. Comfort zones. Comfort. Comfort break. I need the loo.
Tonight
It is Thursday isn’t it? I’m beginning to lose track of time and space. I half expect to walk into the Festival Pavilion (which is much bigger on the inside) and find Catherine Tate and Kylie in there discussing the best way to reverse the polarity of David Tennant’s neutron flow. Well if it is Thursday then I’m down for a trip to The Library Theatre for Dead Wedding. I saw Ronnie Burkett’s Theatre of Marionettes there in May and loved it. So I’m rather excited by this new production by more masters of the puppets, Faulty Optic. Later tonight I also get to meet the director of Kapital. I wonder if he’ll have read my review. I best take some mates with me.
Bloggers
I know that tickets for Monkey are hard to come by, but really, the lengths some people will go to see the show. Boob Pencil is off to Paris in October.
Mancubist has been to see Panda-Monium in The Temple - "I’m not a huge theatre-goer, and an even lousier public speaker, but I thought the play was well written and well executed".
Stephen Newton went to see The Ground Beneath Her Feet - "it’s exciting to see such adventurous, high profile arts events (like this and the more successful Monkey) happening in Manchester".
Manchester International Festival: Day 7
- 4 Jul 07, 01:41 PM
I went house hunting last night. A nice semi-detached freehold in Old Trafford. The guy selling the house looked familiar, but it couldn’t have been Johnny Vegas as he was smartly dressed, clean shaven and had an air about him that would suggest he’d be much happier with a glass of Chablis in his hand rather than a pint Guinness. And anyway, his name was Jeffrey Parkin and there were various letters lying around with his name on to prove it.
Isn’t buying a home all about location, location, location? If so this one would be snapped up for the asking price of £235,000, however, as far as this property is concerned there are one or two issues to be addressed inside. If I say anymore they’ll send the bailiffs round to remove my heart.
Manchester International Festival’s Interiors is a highly desirable piece of intimate theatre created by Michael Pennington and Stewart Lee. Every performance will be different, very much depending who the other fifteen or so people are in your tour party. I just hope you don’t get someone asking really stupid questions at the most inappropriate moment – if the girl in the red top is reading this, I mean you.
Blog meet
Don’t forget to let us know if you are planning on coming along to the meet-up on Monday night in the Festival Pavilion from 6. With free WiFi there’s a great opportunity to meet up with other Manchester Bloggers and update your blog live over a drink. And you just never know who you might bump into in there, last night I'd swear blind that Miranda Richardson was in there having a drink.
Tonight
Off to the Cornerhouse this evening for the premier of Kaptial, Greg Hall's use of urban Manchester as a canvas for folklore and fairytales - but don't expect Little Red Riding Hood in Victoria Park.
Manchester International Festival: Day 6
- 3 Jul 07, 11:00 AM
First up today some news for Manchester Bloggers. How do you fancy meeting up for a bit of chat and WiFi/Phone blogging this coming Monday July 9? We’ve reserved a table in the Manchester International Festival Pavilion from 6pm. I’ll be there with Robin Hamman who can talk you through blogging on the go if you haven’t dipped your toe in that joyous pool yet. There’s free WiFi in the Pavilion and food and beer (but sadly they’re not free). Any of you who want to make a night of it may get the chance to plug your blog on BBC Radio Manchester as Phil Wood presents his first hour from the Pavilion between 10 and 11pm.
If you’d like to join us, and let’s face it, who wouldn’t, then please drop us an e-mail or comment on this post so we get an idea of how many of you there will be.
But is it art?
I’m not sure if it is part of the developing Festival fringe but I noticed an interesting installation along Oxford Road. Not sure what it’s called, Shattered Dreams or something like that, but basically it’s a series of vandalised bus shelters with piles of jewel-like pieces of glass scattered on the pavement. I inadvertently removed one the pieces of glass when it stuck in the tread on my shoe. I’m not sure if I should return it or have it framed.
For All the Wrong Reasons
Last night I sat in my seat at Contact with a mug of tea in one hand and my soggy mac in the other. For All the Wrong Reasons is a play about ‘issues’ and to be honest I did worry that it’s could be some kind of Legs Akimbo school performance. Far from it.
Over the loud music the cast delivered a series of monologue-type performances that interacted from time to time with other cast members. It all seemed to take place on one of Blackpool’s piers, but you’d be forgiven for thinking that you were in Zurich in 1916.
But Cabaret Voltaire it wasn’t and neither was it the kind of stuff you’d see during a summer season at Blackpool, or at The Royal Exchange or Library Theatre and not the sort of thing you’d take your granny to or anyone on their first date or…
I had to keep reminding myself that this was the Contact and that the production was in collaboration with the Belgian Victoria theatre who’s work is best described as experimental – so that’s why that guy was dressed as a rabbit. Not for the feint hearted, a strong cast presented language and imagery to match and after my ears adjusted to the sound I found myself enjoying it, but perhaps for all the wrong reasons.
Monkey business
I heard something interesting last night. “Apparently Monkey are using the wrong kind of bamboo”. I’ve not idea what that means and part of me doesn’t want to know, but in the interests of having nothing else to write, I’ll do my best to find out.
Tonight
I’m off to see Johnny Vegas in Interiors. I’ve been told nothing about it, including where it is. Should be an interesting evening.
Blogs
Julia at Notebooks has posted an interesting account of one of the Festival Debates. “Whilst the name of the debate was 'do art and politics mix?', the debate itself would better go under the question 'should art and politics mix?' Click here for the complete review.
Action-without-theory also reports on the debate here.
Manchester International Festival: Day 5
- 2 Jul 07, 01:12 PM
You can have too much of a good thing, so I decided to take a day off from the Festival yesterday and ended up chasing a small crab along a beach in North Wales. I'm told the Festival managed to carry on without me.
Mancubist spent some time getting to grips with the small wooden spoons they were using at Manchester Dines. I think they're all part of the Festival's sustainability commitment. I say this because on Saturday I met a guy from the BSI who's at the Festival setting up a new British Standard for events like this. Apparently it's the world’s first national standard on sustainable event management and Manchester, not for the first time, is the testing ground.
Basically what it will mean is that if you organise anything from a Garden party to the Olympic Games - and let's face it we've all done that, in the future you'll be able to show off the British Standard logo saying that you are sustainable.
I bet there are people out there who collect BSI numbers like trains. Stood in the pouring rain outside a marquee with a notebook writing down BS 8901.
Another Manchester First
Also on Saturday I met the daughter of the man who introduced kebabs to this country. No, I didn't believe it either, but apparently the first shop was on Oxford Street in Manchester opposite what was once the Odeon Cinema. Loulla Astin is from Kosmos Greek Restaurant and her father, Solomon, had this crazy idea to sell Greek food from a cafe he bought. His friends told him he was mad, but forty years later those slabs of minced lamb can been seen revolving in windows on every high street in the country, the same high streets that are lined with discarded green chillies on a Sunday morning. This Festival is an education.
Tonight
All being well I'm off to the Contact tonight to see For All the Wrong Reasons. A new play by Lies Pauwels from Victoria theatre company in Ghent, Belgium. I'm sure it'll be more entertaining than, say, chasing crabs.
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