Having the 'baby blues' is a common emotional response for mums after giving birth. They are often a symptom of the huge physical and hormonal changes experienced after pregnancy.
Baby blues usually begin in the first few days after birth and often ease within two weeks. If you're finding feelings of sadness, anxiety or overwhelm difficult to manage, or if they continue beyond a couple of weeks, speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP.
Watch our video below for advice from a highly experienced health visitor, Rachel Costis.
New mum Lisa talks about her mental health once her baby was born
We spoke to health visitor Rachel Costis, featured in the video above, for some additional advice…
What are the baby blues?
“We know after a woman gives birth, there'll be changes in hormones and that can make them feel a bit down, so they may be a bit tearful or feel overwhelmed", says Rachel.
"What we hear from a lot of parents, especially with the first baby, is that they expect to look at this child and feel love like they've never felt before. Then, if it isn't quite what they expected, that can put pressure on them.
"Whilst it's quite normal for a mum to have the baby blues after having a baby, if it carries on for after a few weeks, or it involves more intrusive thoughts, that may no longer be baby blues. That's when you might need to get help."
They have a lot of emotions hit them."
What are the signs someone has the baby blues?
"A significant number of women will find that they have a little bit of baby blues going on, which is normal. It's a huge life change", says Rachel.
"The classic signs are a lack of energy, tearfulness, feeling emotional and even being snappy."
Rachel explains that, for some, these feelings can also be linked to past experiences.
"For example, it can be that the birth brings up feelings from your own childhood. Or maybe the mum lost a parent early in life, and it brings up 'I wish my parent was here to see my child.' So baby blues can be very individual in terms of what mums experience."
It's a huge life change."
Possible changes in personality
Rachel says that another sign of baby blues can be a change in personality.
"The example I always give is that I'm quite a lively character. If I went quiet after having a baby, that could be a sign of me having the baby blues. But equally I've seen friends who have gone through it who are usually very quiet - they went very lively because they want to look fine. So it really is individual to the person.
"It can be just going through the motions and not really feeling anything. Feelings of numbness. Personality changes can be a real tell-tale sign."
What if baby blues carry on for a while?
Rachel emphasises baby blues are common but advises seeking further help if symptoms continue beyond a few weeks, as this could be a sign of postnatal depression.
"Your health visitor or GP is ideally placed to talk initially, however if you feel you can't speak to them, then ask a partner or family member to ask for help on your behalf."
The NHS have produced advice on postnatal depression here.
How can a partner help with the baby blues?
Rachel says it's important for partners to look after their own wellbeing as well as supporting the new mum.
"As a partner, it's about just being patient and non judgmental. If they've got any worries, they could talk to professionals as well. They're more than happy to talk to partners about their concerns. You're not betraying anyone by doing that. You're just seeking help on how you can support them.
"I'd say that it's usually partners who recognise that there's something more going on than baby blues. It's being open and listening to the other partner, and feeling ok about asking for help on their behalf."
If you've gone through adoption or surrogacy
Rachel adds: "We also have parents that go through adoption or surrogacy and it's not unusual for them to also have their perinatal mental health affected. Just because they may not have given birth themselves, it doesn't mean that they won't be impacted.
If they feel any of the things that we've discussed, it's important they also reach out for help too - they won't be ignored."
The NHS has information and support for mental health.
BBC Action Line has links to organisations that can help with pregnancy-related issues.
