I had a baby – then lost my memory, Part 2

After an undiagnosed case of pre-eclampsia caused catastrophic brain damage and amnesia, Samina Ali returned home from hospital to begin a long recovery.

At 29, she found herself relearning the basics of daily life – how to walk, speak and make sense of the world around her. She could still communicate in Urdu, the language of her childhood partly spent in India, but much of her recent life in California felt unreachable. Her husband was a stranger, and her newborn son Ishmael someone she struggled to recognise. The part of her that had once been a writer also seemed out of reach.

In those early months, Samina and Ishmael’s lives unfolded in parallel, each navigating the same early milestones in very different ways. At first, she felt disconnected from him, even in competition for care. But over time, as she rebuilt her understanding of the world, a bond began to form – shaped by the fact that they were, in many ways, learning side by side.

Gradually, fragments of Samina’s memory began to return but the process was uneven and with it came a growing awareness that the life she was returning to no longer felt entirely her own. Her sense of self had shifted, and her relationship with her husband had changed in ways neither of them could undo.

Against this backdrop, Samina began working again on the novel she had started during her pregnancy. At first, the words didn’t hold together. But soon, writing became central to her recovery – helping her rebuild language and imagination, and slowly re-establish a sense of coherence and confidence.

In this second episode, Samina traces her recovery: the return of memory, the changing dynamics within her family, and the challenge of rebuilding a life after profound loss.

Samina has written about her experience in her memoir, Pieces You’ll Never Get Back.

Presenter: Asya Fouks
Producer: Maryam Maruf
Editor: Munazza Khan
Research: Hetal Bapodra

Get in touch: outlook@bbc.com or WhatsApp +44 330 678 2707

(Photo: A portrait photo of Samina Ali. She is smiling at the camera and is wearing a black blazer, silver jhumka earrings and a necklace with freshwater pearls and a pendant. Credit: Courtesy of Samina Ali)