Mark Maier

What is your show all about?

My show is about the innanimate objects in my life conspiring to plot against me. I'm not paranoid.

Where and when can we see it?

The Iron Belly at The Underbelly at 20:05 every night apart from 18th.

Do you love Edinburgh or is it a chore?

I love Edinburgh. Walking up and down hills with a gut full of beer and fried food is a chore.

What will you be doing with the other 23 hrs of the day?

Walking up and down hills with a gut full of beer and fried food.

What's the best thing you've ever seen on the fringe?

Count Arthur Strong, the first year he came to Edinburgh. Saw his show four times.

What's the worst thing you've seen?

Shows unworthy of an audience selling out because of their location.

What's the most curious thing that's happened to you in Edinburgh?

Working as a street performer for my first visit to Edinburgh, which involved eating five bananas a day for four weeks straight.

If you could persuade one VIP to come to your show who would it be? Why?

Woody Allen because I impersonate him in my show and I'm sure he'd get a real kick out of that as not many people take him off.

If the Edinburgh fairy could grant your wish, what would your wish for?

To leave me alone, I don't like fairies. I'm not homophobic.

What advice do you have for first time Edinburgh punters?

Stop trying to work out what to come and see and come and see me.