Maybe you can relate here when I say that as a teen nobody believes you when you say that you love somebody, especially parents they always seem skeptical. They assume it's just lust or hormones or a combination of the two. In some ways i don't blame them. I look at my friends and peers and some 'love' one partner one minute and are 'head over heels in love' with another the next to the point where I can not keep up and wonder to myself how could they use a strong word like that so often with so many people? Are they getting confused with lust? Is it their hormones or am I missing something?

The closest I got to a real relationship with potential to be long term and great since him was with a guy last year which lasted a few months but it didn't work out because I didn't try hard enough. I've known that first boyfriend three years now and even though we haven't spoken since the end of last year (December), I do think of him from time to time and sometimes I wish I didn't.. I won't brush him under the carpet because he is my past and my past is a part of me, I shall keep the happy memories and look forward to making new ones with somebody else one day (maybe not too soon though). As for that 'someone else', I am currently single but I am not particularly looking. That's not to say I don't have someone in mind (then again maybe I really don't, that would be telling).

My sex-life? Well I think that's something supposed to be private and I do not wish to flaunt it in anybody's faces but I am pretty sure you'd be surprised or would not believe me If i told you that I don't particularly believe in one night stands per say. I have this 'third date rule' that I do my best to stick to but I rarely ever got past the second date without deciding I wasn't right for them or vice versa and If i got to the third date It didn't mean I did take things to the next level straight away or at all.

Although I got to be honest with you, I have had a couple (just a couple) of hypocritical 'weak moments' in my single past where i have gone against my rules especially when I've been low or frustrated and they say all of the right words but I think that happens to the best of us and there was no romance nor 'two way love in our lovers dance'. I tend to think of it like when people pray though they don't believe in God, I know its nothing like that but It's that kind of irony. Lust is an invisible enemy you can't always fight and don't always want to. I have nothing against people who give into lust in the form of one night stands (I'd be a hypocrite if I did really). One of my closest friends is the girl said to have slept with fifty or so men in two years (She were on 'Sex:with mum and dad'). To me that's fine because I see no difference in sleeping with fifty men once to sleeping with one man fifty times. I wouldn't do it myself, but I appreciate that what she or anyone does behind closed doors is their own business so long as nobody gets hurt and they're very careful I don't see anything wrong with it. We all make mistakes both teenagers and adults alike, but what sets people apart is whether they have the ability to learn from them and make amends if necessary. I know i have.

I am really looking forward to Clubbing tonight in Stratford. It's the club's birthday and alot of performers will be there and like I said, I hope to capture being there on film for you. You may be surprised to see the adults more drunk and more mischievous than those my age, I'd almost put money on it...If i were into gambling.

Tomorrow I shall debut on the Victoria Derbyshire show, I am very nervous but also very excited. I hope I don't let Victoria and the team down and I hope my presence will be entertaining, informative and enlightening. I am very grateful for all of the positive comments and advice coming in, they really help and I hope they keep coming. Thank you for reading and sharing this experience with me.

Georgie

My aim today is to be as open as I possibly can and discuss an emotional trauma that will always be with me, mainly my battle with anorexia. I've often been described as mature for my age but I think this comes from going through alot in my late childhood and early teens which caused me to grow up before my time.

Weighing in at the same weight as my mother (who wasn't exactly slim) in my first year of secondary school I was branded a 'big kid' by many and much worse by some. Secondary school showed itself to be alot more relentless than junior and It were a senior school where I knew nobody at first. I soon began to skip meals. My mother picked up on this but she in her own admission didn't act up on it in time. Neither of us knew it at first but I was slowly becoming an anorexic. No matter what I did or how much weight I lost, all I could see was 'fat'. I smashed up mirrors and tore up my photos. I'd get teased at school and then come home and get teased by my brother (who really regrets it now). I soon started skipping not just meals but food altogether and gulped down slimming pills. Before I knew it, I were 5'8 and just about six stone. My teeth were yellow, I were having real mood swings and I were much paler than usual. My mother soon clocked on what was going on and tried to force feed me on occasion but it didn't work. She also tried bribing me to eat but that again didn't work. I only came out of it after my second collapse and seeing how scared my mother was of losing me as well as my father.

I felt selfish and I knew that I was needing help. It wasn't an easy task but I gradually started eating, my mother was my rock and the counsellor was amazing. The counsellor even helped me with my other problems too..she helped me have the confidence to come out to someone as gay as well. It felt majorly good to talk out my grief, my anorexia and hiding my sexuality and to be told I was good looking by her really helped, no one had ever called me that before at the time except maybe my mother.

Anorexia affects alot of people, mostly eleven to twenty year olds and even though 90% of them are female, male anorexics are becoming more and more recognized in society. The good thing I guess is that there is more and more help being given to people with psychological issues like mine. It is often said that people take more time to understand physical injuries you can see and ignore or judge people with the internal ones that can't be seen but I don't feel that at all, I feel that my mother and my counsellor did a great job, I was lucky after all I could be dead by now.

The counsellor told me that my anorexia will never completely leave me and she was right. I will get really annoyed with myself if I put on weight and I get bloated after a few mouths full of food like the other week at my friends 40th birthday (yes I have much older friends, but thats not an issue). I got annoyed with myself because I ordered food and it came on a huge plate, I just could not eat most of it and I got paranoid my friends were looking at me even though I was sure they wasn't. Every time I bend down my knees click which I'm pretty sure has something to do with the long lasting affects on my body.

Currently I'm just about average weight (under by a few pounds so I'm told), I'm 5ft 11 and I'm happy not losing weight or putting weight on, just staying at this weight. I try to eat at least three meals a day but I don't eat in between meals and I don't always manage to eat the three meals. I'm semi-confident around other people, but more so after a few drinks and I've made alot of friends of all ages from 16 to 50 over the last couple of years. My friends and the life I live now has helped me regain stability, apart from the long lasting affects my body has had, I feel in control. I no longer feel ugly or fat but I will not put weight on and I am still very sensitive as to what people think of me even if I appear as if I don't take myself too seriously to some. To look at me you wouldn't think of me as an anorexic now or maybe ever, you'd think me to be slim but behind the smile I put on and through not talking about it much to many people my anorexia rarely comes up and thats the way I like it.

I hope parents reading this can learn the signs before its too late. Even if you have only sons and no daughters, still be aware. Stop it from the very first meal they skip, tell them that they are special the way they are and for the love of God if they ever ask you if they are 'fat' say no. My mother said once when I asked her 'you're not fat, just a little chubby' and that just added to it for me. If you think your child or somebody you know might be anorexic, I will gladly tell you what to look out for. But no two cases of anorexia are ever the same and there are two types of anorexia so I am told. People are quick to blame the media for anorexia and other eating disorders but It was nothing to do with that for me. To me media is only a contributing factor and not a cause as anorexia has always been around even if not as common. It can be started by losing a partner/being cheated on or even a single 'fat' comment could set it off.

Tomorrow I shall be going to a gay club to have a few drinks with my mates (as I do most Thursdays now) and if the club lets me, I hope to make my first video entry! For some of you that could be your first and last look inside a gay club. So please stay tuned! I may also reveal how I managed to get into a club like this one at the age of just fourteen and go straight to school the morning after! I know, it's terrible but I did!

Georgie

My day will be spent today pretty much hunting for a job. I left school when i was sixteen like alot of pupils. I tried sixth form but I decided it was not for me and I were convinced my GCSE grades of B's and C's would suffice in helping me land any job I would apply for. I was of course very naive to think that.

Whenever I am asked what I want to be in the future I'll be honest, my answer is never the same because I really do not know. I've wanted to be many things ranging from a model to a journalist. I guess being young is the best excuse I have for being indecisive but it shoudn't be an excuse. The only person who is holding me back is myself and my fear of really pushing for what I want and getting rejected. Getting rejected for a job I don't really want is nowhere near as bad as it would be getting rejected for a job I do really want. My theory of 'taking things in, letting them out and letting them go' will not always work.

Realistically to me my dream jobs are just that, dreams. Silly thoughts and aspirations I have that I can actually have a job that will make me happy. Its been nearly a month now since I've been jobless and the depression is slowly creeping up on me, only tomorrow will tell if my luck has came in. I'm already at the stage where I'd settle for any job and I mean any.

Maybe more should have been done at school to teach me the right way to go step by step to getting that dream job. I feel my school did a brilliant job in terms of educating me academically but very little in preparing me for the big wide world. I felt prepared when I really wasn't.

As promised yesterday, I will finish up by telling you how my night went last night. I did say I were going to an LGBT youth group but sadly me and my friends walked around our whole town for hours and could not find it. It was as if the place did not exist. We go to a different LGBT youth group on a Wednesday, been going since I were 14 and do not know what I'd do without it, but I shall discuss that more tomorrow. Please continue to read throughout the week where I shall tell you how I've managed to be clubbing since the age of just fourteen and how I beat anorexia.

Georgie

Yes I'm gay yet not really what people perceive to be gay. Id say I have feminine mannerisms yet you won't find me rushing to buy the next Kylie Album or wearing a belly top (not that theres anything wrong with that). I'm into my football, I support Chelsea and I don't just say a team like some people do. I know the team, every player and their position. I could tell you that Chelsea started in 1905 and they only had English and Scottish players until 1946 when Steffan joined who was from Switzerland. I was quite depressed yesterday when we lost 2-1 to Tottenham Hotspurs but I had my coping methods (such as chucking back a few drinks and telling myself that Tottenham were just lucky).

During the week I hope to give you an understanding of what It's like to be me, what it's like to be gay and what it's like to be a teen in this day and age. I hope to touch upon strong issues teens often deal with first hand, issues that I know from experience or from witnessing. Sexuality confusion, drugs, peer pressure, self harm and anorexia are just to name a few. Then again being me, and knowing full well even I can not predict what I'm like, I'll probably forget or change my mind.

Tonight I shall be going to one of few LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) youth groups and tomorrow if you come back, there should be a nice little blog to tell you what these services are all about and how my night went.

Georgie