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On the trail of a tiger: what has Matt been up to?

2017-11-10T19:15:00+00:00

It has been slow progress so far on the Matt hit-and-run whodunnit and now there is another puzzle to solve. What exactly has Matt been up to these last few months? Lilian believes, whatever it is, Matt is in it up to the hilt.

So, what do we know?

There are a good few people in Ambridge who don’t like Matt. And quite a lot of these people were at the Hunt Ball on the night Matt was hit by a car. Plus, there are all those who are keeping a low profile to consider.

Once returned to full consciousness since being seriously injured, Matt has been acting strangely. He asked Lilian to book him an inconspicuous room at Grey Gables in her name and get him a new mobile phone, even though his own made it through the hit and run completely undamaged.

THE HUNT BALL

After learning there is CCTV of him punching Matt, Adam handed himself into the police
On the night of the Hunt Ball, according to Lilian, Justin returned home alone before her.
Shula became defensive at Harrison’s enquiries (“I can’t speak for everyone who attended, that’s an impossible task!”) and remained so with Alistair after Harrison had left (“there was so much to keep on top of, you know that Alistair!”)
The police are treating the incident as attempted murder.

THE INVESTMENT COMPANY

Melling Equestrian Investments’ address is a scruffy building containing a row of PO boxes.
When Lilian called pretending to be a potential investor she found the Costa Rican racecourse scheme had closed but they had another investment opportunity in Amazonian eco-lodges.
Melling Equestrian Investments employee she spoke to was intrigued when Lilian mentioned she knew their agent in Borsetshire.

THE RACE HORSES

After some divulgence from Alistair and Lilian’s horse racing pal Mena Woodruffe, it appears that Matt - while saying he was only after the very best equine stock - selected lower grade horses for purchase.

THE RACE COURSE

Its location in Costa Rica as specified in the glossy brochure is actually a national park, no one would ever be allowed to build there.
Operating race courses in Costa Rica haven’t heard of Hugo Melling or Matt Crawford.

Here’s hoping that Lilian doesn’t hang up her detective’s trenchcoat just yet, it appears she has only just started to scratch the surface.

Why is Alistair so nervous about Matt?

2017-08-03T14:21:19+00:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures. And there was a time when Alistair was very, very desperate. With Matt prowling the Stables on the pretext of hiring Anisha, shameful moments that Alistair had buried deep in his memory are now rushing back to the surface.

While going through a low point in 2005, Alistair returned to gambling after an initial flutter the year before. This time around, when the debts started to mount Alistair kept playing. He was addicted and couldn’t stop. Before he came clean, he owed approximately £100,000 and £60,000 of that was to Matt Crawford. The rest was on credit cards.

As well as playing online, Alistair was making appearances at poker tables despite his losing streak. Matt had the inside track on the local poker-playing fraternity. He had a word with those who held IOUs from Alistair and paid them off so the only person that Alistair owed was Matt.

Unable to say no

Matt now had a qualified vet at his command. First, he asked Alistair to take a look at one of his racehorses, Hassett Harrier, which had sore tendons. Alistair was reluctant to come in over the vet that Matt usually used but, unable to say no, he prescribed the animal anti-inflammatories.

The next time Matt contacted Alistair, Hassett Harrier was ready to race. Was there something Alistair could do to improve his chances of winning? Alistair was shocked by the question and point blank refused but Matt insisted he took some time to give it some thought.

Meanwhile, life at the Stables was strained. Shula had suspicions that Alistair was gambling but when she confronted him, he denied it. This made Shula think – with all of his unexplained absences – that Alistair must be having an affair and no longer loved her. The couple’s arguments grew and grew to the point where Alistair moved out.

Eventually, Alistair crumbled under Matt’s pressure. There was something he could do to help Hassett Harrier run faster. It wouldn’t harm the horse but nevertheless was entirely illegal. He took a litre of blood from Hassett Harrier, extracted the red blood cells which he then re-injected into the horse close to the day of the race. Hassett Harrier came second and Matt took £5,000 off Alistair’s debt.

The turning point for Alistair came when Matt approached him with another request. Hassett Harrier had gone lame and needed rest. Matt wasn’t prepared to pay for the recuperation so he asked Alistair to end the horse’s life. The animal wasn’t in distress, it would have been completely unethical to put it down. Alistair said no, Matt offered to write off his debt, still Alistair said no.

Road to recovery

It was Kenton who convinced Alistair to talk to Shula, even though Alistair thought Shula hated him and that their marriage was over. Coming clean to Shula was the start of Alistair’s road to recovery. They re-mortgaged in order to pay off all of his remaining debt and Alistair went to Gamblers Anonymous. Finally, Matt no longer had any power over him.

Now, more than 10 years on, Alistair had hoped this dangerous piece of his past was consigned to history. But with Matt twigging that Anisha is unaware of it all, it is firmly back in the present. Is it only a matter of time before Matt spills the beans on Alistair? And what would Anisha do if she was to find out?

The significance of Jill's flapjack arrest

2017-07-25T18:00:00+00:00

On 25 July 1957 Patricia Greene said her first words in The Archers as Jill Patterson. Sixty years on she is a key member of the cast with her character Jill now the matriarch of the eponymous Archer family. Patricia (who's known to everyone as Paddy) has continuously played the same role longer than other actor.

To mark Paddy's diamond anniversary in the world’s longest running drama, Jill’s recent storyline came to a climax. On 25 July 2017 she was arrested at the same place where we first heard her exactly sixty years ago.

Speaking to Woman's Hour, Paddy described Jill's arrest and consequent criminal record as "great fun".

"At last she's done something really heinous!", she added with a chuckle.

Back in July 1957, Jill had been a demonstrator of household gadgets and was explaining the House Drudge to shoppers in Mitchells, a Borchester department store, when Phil caught sight of her (he'd seen her earlier that month at a fete). He approached her and invited her out for dinner which she turned down. Instead, she half-heartedly agreed to see him at the upcoming Borchester Show. And the rest, as they say, is history!

Mitchells has long since closed but recently a pop-up pay-what-you can café has been using the site. While volunteering there with Kirsty, Jill reminisced about how she met Phil on the same spot.

Jill's time with Kirsty has enlivened her to environmental and social concerns. And the ousting of the Happy Friends Cafe from their premises by the high end restaurant, Les Soeurs Heureuses, only served to further rile her.

Infamous for their food wastage, the Duxford sisters's PR event for their new enterprise were targeted by a protest. Jill was part of it and in frustration of not being heard, she threw a flapjack which unfortunately landed in Lulu Duxford's eye.

Fortunately, following her arrest (which came when she encouraged others to follow her flapjack lead), Jill was released with a caution, though even that was too much for her son David! Meanwhile, "the rest of the village will be delighted", according to Paddy, "she [Jill] has fallen off her perch well and truly now, hasn't she?!".

Just some of the index cards in The Archers Archive for Jill Archer.

Writing Caroline's memorial

2017-07-24T13:43:41+00:00

My husband Peter died four years ago, so I have some experience of organising a funeral. Like Caroline’s memorial, Peter’s was a non-religious event, but conducted by a friend who is a priest.

He began with the reading from Ecclesiastes (“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...”), which, describing as it does how we are all part of the natural world, seemed to me equally appropriate for Caroline.

My friend also recommended the Wendy Cope poem "My Funeral" (its warning ignored by some of Peter’s friends who talked for so long that we were indeed very late for the crematorium!)

"I hope I can trust you, friends, not to use our relationship
As an excuse for an unsolicited ego-trip..."

Time was the biggest challenge in writing this episode: how can you encapsulate nearly forty years of life in twelve and a half minutes?

I wanted the inevitable sadness of the occasion to be leavened by lots of happy memories, so I spent hours trawling through the archives, searching out amusing incidents and anecdotes about Caroline.

When it came to music, “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie”, seemed to embody who she was when she first arrived in Ambridge in 1977, and Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good”, to capture something of the joy she found in simply being alive. On the other hand, I could not ignore the awful suddenness of Oliver’s bereavement, and there is no more heartrending expression of loss than the aria “E Lucevan Le Stelle” from Tosca.

The episode was as much in memory of the actress Sara Coward as of the character she played. Before she died Sara started a campaign called SM:)E, which finds a poignant echo in Christina Rossetti’s beautiful poem, “Remember”.

"...Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad."

Pip, some escaped cows and the IBR virus

2017-03-27T11:18:38+00:00

An innocent question from Ruth has jogged Pip’s memory about the cows escaping from Brookfield through a section of fence she should have mended.

It was Josh who damaged the fence but he struck a deal with Pip; in return for her taking on the work the fence needed, he'd do one of her milking shifts. But the repair escaped Pip’s mind and one morning she found the weak fence had become an escape route for some of the dairy cows.

Embarrassed by her oversight, Pip didn't raise the alarm with her parents. Instead she dragged Toby out of bed to help her round up the loose cows, in the hope that they could get them all back before anyone else had chance to notice.

Once the cows were all back safely at Brookfield (and the fence repaired), their escape wasn’t all that much of a big deal. However, now IBR has been found in the Brookfield herd the situation is a lot more serious.

Will Pip own up about the cows escaping from Brookfield? Vote now

What is IBR? Graham Harvey, The Archers Agricultural Adviser, answers questions on IBR

The IBR virus causes flu-like symptoms in cattle.

IBR: What is it and how is it fought?

2017-03-16T10:39:14+00:00

David and Ruth Archer’s spring-calving dairy herd has been hit by a highly-infectious disease known as IBR. Although most cattle recover from the disease, it causes nasty flu-like symptoms that can include coughing, fever, nasal discharge and conjunctivitis. So infected animals look pretty miserable. It’s as if they have a nasty cold and chest infection.

What is IBR?

IBR stands for Infectious Bovine Rhinotracheitis. The actual disease agent (BHV-1) is a virus similar to the human herpes virus, though it’s a form specific to cattle. The virus can remain dormant in an animal for a long time which means infected animals can show no symptoms. However, at times of stress symptoms can appear.

What is its impact?

For the farmer the disease can have severe economic consequences, too. Milk production is likely to drop and the disease may well result in the abortion of calves and infertility. So while most infected cattle will recover, the profitability of the business can take a severe hit.

What happens next?

Once IBR has appeared in the herd all the farmer can do is quickly vaccinate all the other animals in the herd to slow or stop the spread of the virus, which is easily passed between cattle. What will be particularly worrying for David and Ruth is the fact that the infection is showing in their dairy herd which they bought last year. All of these cows would have been health checked before being purchased. They’ll certainly be going through the farm records to find the documentation that came with the new cows.

The Brookfield family will be keen to boost their biosecurity measures on the farm – that is measures to reduce the likelihood of diseases getting onto the farm, and equally important, from spreading off the farm. Having contracted this virus in their own dairy herd the last thing they’ll want is for their cattle-farming neighbours to become infected.

It’s a worrying time at Brookfield at the moment. They’ll all be hoping they can deal with the virus quickly and with the minimum of fuss. The very presence of IBR is sure to raise doubts amongst their fellow farmers of David and Ruth’s competence in running a healthy farm.

Kirsty's reaction to her late miscarriage

2017-03-06T11:38:41+00:00

Since her miscarriage on 12 February, Kirsty has been trying to convince everyone, including herself, that she’s fine. She came back from staying with her parents after only a few days, keen to get back to normal.

Annabelle Dowler, who plays Kirsty, shares her thoughts on how Kirsty has been trying to cope since the miscarriage.

“Kirsty instinctively chose not to see or hold her baby or to have a funeral. Her immediate response was that it wasn't meant to be and that she must move on with her life as quickly as possible.

The scriptwriters have given Kirsty's emotional reaction a real arc. Always more comfortable offering advice and sympathy rather than receiving it, she initially slapped down anyone offering her loving concern and support and was desperate to prove that she had already grieved and was OK.

Her behaviour however was slightly frenetic and she became defensive and aggressive to those around her. Four weeks on from the miscarriage, she realised she could no longer keep up the brittle, brave face. She, understandably, cracked and finally allowed herself the emotional outpour she so badly needed.

Kirsty blames herself for the miscarriage, for not having wanted the baby enough and for not having sufficiently embraced the pregnancy. It is only now that she realises how much she did want her baby and she finally admits that she does need to take time off work and allow herself to grieve”.

Read Annabelle’s earlier blog

If you've been affected by Kirsty's storyline, there are organisations which offer information and support

Jill's apology flapjacks - a recipe

2017-01-26T17:59:06+00:00

In October when Jill caught Pip about to pilfer flapjacks from the Brookfield larder she forbade her to take anything. A bitter row ensued and then a rift began to grow between grand-mother and daughter.

Pip v Jill: Archers listeners take sides

But now, with Jill deciding to let go of her Fairbrother angst (at least for the time being), she has turned out a fresh tray of the baked treats which she has given to Pip to take home and share with Toby.

Other than the usual butter, syrup and oats, here’s an idea of what else could have gone into this special batch of Jill Archer flapjacks.

• 175g/6oz of only ever loving one man
• 175g/6oz of that man being married before he met you
• 175g/6oz of forever feeling in the shadow of your husband’s first wife
• 350g/12oz of a relation of your husband’s first wife shacking up with your granddaughter (the cockier the better)
• ½ a fall, from which you're saved by the cocky boyfriend (finely grated)
• A pinch of conversation with an old friend that helps you work things out

Justin sends Rob packing

2017-01-20T12:37:40+00:00

“You’re finished here Rob, for good.” Isn’t that one of the greatest sentences you have ever heard? It was Justin’s final line when he fired Rob after learning what he did in the 2015 flood.

With the reappearance of Stefan on Friday 13 January (a bad omen if ever there was one), Rob’s chances of having a good week were slim to none. Initially, he tried to brush Stefan off by saying he was out of work and getting divorced and so in no position to stump up more money to keep Stefan’s silence.

It didn’t take long for Stefan to find out that in fact Rob did have a job and a well-paid one at that. He sought Rob out in the Damara office. Rob, taken by surprise, hastily tried to face down Stefan and point blank refused to hand over any money. But Stefan wasn’t giving up that easily. He clarified it wouldn’t be the police he would tell all to but Rob's boss Justin and news outlets. Rattled, Rob agreed to get the money together but Stefan still had his killer blow to land. On account of Rob messing him around now he wanted twice the amount of his original demand. And with that he strode out and almost bumped into Lilian.

Although at the time Lilian convincingly told Rob she hadn’t heard any of his conversation with the “fertiliser sales rep”, we now know she heard enough to relay the situation to Justin who then called an impromptu meeting with Rob.

Rob defended his position but when he twigged it was Lilian who had informed Justin he got nasty. Justin kept his cool and told him “you’re finished here Rob, for good”.

Listen to it all unfold in The Archers Omnibus

What’s the history between Elizabeth and Richard?

2016-11-28T10:52:19+00:00

When Archers listeners were asked whether Elizabeth should take Richard on a mini-break 70%* of those who voted said she should. If only Elizabeth would be so definite.

Rewind a few months and it looked like Elizabeth and Dr Locke were gearing up for a summer of love. However, the temperature never seemed to get beyond luke-warm and now, disappointingly, it seems to have plummeted.

Though, to discover that the person you liked may have also been stringing along your married sister while also making a pass at you would surely put anyone off!

This isn’t the first time Elizabeth has had her head turned by Richard. Back in 1992, when he first arrived in Ambridge, a 25-year-old Elizabeth took interest in the dashing doctor.

A lovelorn Nigel – who had already patiently waited in the wings during Elizabeth’s relationship with Robin Fairbrother – lamented Elizabeth’s fondness for Richard. But nothing was to come of it. At that time, Richard has his eye on Debbie.

Find out more about Richard Locke

Elizabeth eventually married Nigel on 29 September 1994. It was altogether a happy union – apart from that time Nigel ended up in a Spanish prison but let’s not go there – Nigel was besotted with Elizabeth and together, as well as having twins Lily and Freddie, the two of them grew the Lower Loxley brand.

Nigel’s unexpected death in January 2011 was a huge blow to his wife and the whole of Ambridge. In the years that followed, Elizabeth focused on her children and running Lower Loxley. But in 2013, Elizabeth became close with Iftikar Shah, the cricket coach who also tutored Freddie in Maths. They shared a kiss after having dinner together one evening but immediately it didn’t feel right for Elizabeth. A couple of months later, Freddie’s tutoring was complete and Ifty walked away from Ambridge.

The following year Elizabeth embarked on a more eventful liaison. While at Greenbury Fields Festival, gathering research for her own Loxfest, Elizabeth got together with Roy. At the time, he was her employee and he was married. Fair to say it wasn’t going to last! And once Freddie caught the two of them hugging, Elizabeth decided – for the sake of her children – she had to call it off. But what had happened couldn’t be undone nor kept under wraps and as a result Roy lost his job and his family. His ex-wife Hayley and their daughter Abbie now live in Birmingham.

Listen to Hayley confront Elizabeth about the affair

Richard’s reappearance must have been an interesting prospect for Elizabeth. A familiar face, which takes her back to her 20s, and yet he is unconnected in Ambridge. (If we look into Richard’s past there are actually a number of old ties with Ambridge residents but that’s for another time!) Is now the right time for Elizabeth? And is Richard the right man?

* You can take part in a different Archers vote every week.

Lilian's tricky situation

2016-11-07T16:39:49+00:00

Taking up the position of someone’s mistress is always going to have its delicate balances to master but for Lilian the situation has become a whole lot trickier.

She was quick to voice her concerns when Justin was first considering employing Rob. But, as we know, her petition failed. Justin’s robust response to Lilian’s misgivings was that when it came to his businesses, he was the one who knew best. That was her told – Lilian abandoned her appeal and apologised.

That was Round One, now here's Round Two.

Thanks to Justin, Lilian faces the prospect of becoming Rob’s landlord. Justin thinks he’s doing everyone a favour by teeing up Rob as a potential Amside tenant. He’s rationalised the situation along the following lines:

He doesn’t want his employee distracted from his work by having to look for somewhere to live
It would be better for Helen to have Rob settled in a new home - might take some of the sting out of the situation with their son, he thinks
Rob is a ready, reliable tenant for Amside which he’s learned from Lilian sometimes struggles for money

Lilian’s hand isn’t being forced. Justin’s words were, “the decision must be yours and yours alone, Lilian”. But surely now Justin has made his perspective on Rob clear, the appeal of holding a J Elliott credit card is somewhat tarnished.

So, what now for Lilian? How tenable is her and Justin’s “arrangement”?

Makeovers in Ambridge

2016-10-27T18:23:35+00:00

Now that the leaves have well and truly changed colour and their spread on the trees is starting to thin, it’s time to dig out the winter woollies and put our summery wear to the back of the wardrobe.

In Ambridge there have been some significant changes in appearance but these aren’t down to the nights drawing in and the days feeling chillier.

Firstly, at Bridge Farm Helen has had a clear out – with the help of Lilian – after Rob bagged up all of her and Henry’s things that were still at Blossom Hill Cottage. It was a bumper day for the charity shops of Borchester once Helen was finished. Helen remarked that Rob always wanted her to wear heavier fabrics. So, her donations should be just what they want on display at this time of year. Now, she’s ditched the clothes Rob imposed on her she’s got the space to refresh her wardrobe. Some key items that complement the trendy hair cut she had while in the mother and baby unit maybe?

Roy is another Ambridge resident who has been making changes when it comes to clothes. As he prepared to launch himself into the online dating world, housemate Kirsty offered up some advice on his ‘look’. To attract the right woman he’d have to ditch the Aston Villa shirt and the trousers that made him look like a granddad. Now, he’s in chinos and polo shirts – though if it was down to Archers listeners, who knows how his restyle could have ended up!

Peruse listeners' fashion advice for Roy

Lastly, in the privacy of his own home, Neil has been trying out a new way of being; reclining, in his dressing gown, while an avocado face mask works its magic on his weathered features. “You do look funny, just those googly eyes peeking out!” said Susan who joined him in beauty regime. Neil didn’t seem to mind, in fact the experience made him feel rather amorous and as they giggled together Susan exclaimed, “you’ll get avocado everywhere!”

Unfortunately for Neil, his wife's not the only one who has witnessed his foray into the world of face masks. When the doorbell rang they thought it was Emma, but it was in fact Shula. Under those green masks the Carters must have been turning crimson. Shula was equally lost of words. Though maybe it’s an idea she could take home to Alistair?

The Archers' over-sized family photo

2016-10-13T10:49:15+00:00

As a golden wedding anniversary gift, Phil and Jill's children organised a family portrait photograph. It featured the couple’s children (David, twins Kenton and Shula, and Elizabeth) and grandchildren (Pip, Josh, Ben, Dan, and twins Lily and Freddie). Ruth, Nigel and Alistair were also in it but Kathy, Kenton’s partner at the time, was not included. Nor, was Meriel, his daughter in New Zealand.

When it came to ordering the print Kenton made the error or ordering in inches when he thought it was in centimetres. As a result the photograph was huge and its subjects almost life size.

When Phil and Jill got the portrait home to Glebe Cottage, they found it was too big for above the fireplace. They decided the best place for it was by the staircase but then after a great effort to hang it, Jill decided it looked preposterous from the bottom of the stairs. It ended up on display in the conservatory.

When Carol Tregorran moved into Glebe Cottage seven years later the giant photo was still there. At her request, Kenton removed it and stored it away.

Nightmares of Christmas Shows past

2016-10-13T10:00:36+00:00

Robert has managed to talk Lynda into coming out of retirement from organising community events and set to work on a Christmas Show. Lynda has a wealth of experience at the helm of Ambridge productions, most of which have need snatching from the jaws of defeat only hours before opening night.

So long has Lynda’s reign been in the world of Borsetshire amateur-dramatics, she has established arch-rivals in the form of the Felpersham Light Operatic Society or FLOS. Lynda prefers to call them FLOPS.

Before she takes her next masterpiece, perhaps she should be reminded of the horrors that recently stood in her way of achieving theatrical success.

Calendar Girls (2015)

It’s barely 12 months ago that Lynda had to deal with the diva that is Jean Harvey. Not only did she get on the nerves of the rest of the cast, she requested Lynda to update all the show’s promotional posters with “also starring Jean Harvey”.

Blithe Spirit (2014)

Lynda had to cope with the pressures of being an actor-director for this production. As well as taking on the role of Madame Arcati, Lynda also had Alice fussing to be assistant director. There was also the drama of Helen, who was due to play a key role, pulling out at the last minute. Lilian stepped into the breach but Lynda had to tell her off for her disruptive behaviour in the last-minute rehearsals.

Dame Angela Lansbury sends Lynda a special message

Robin Hood (2012)

Lynda cast Rob as Robin Hood opposite Kirsty as Maid Marian. Even back then Kirsty had a distrust of Rob – choosing that pairing was never going to end well. In the end Rob pulled out, causing a headache for Lynda but relief for Kirsty. In Rob’s place, Kirsty co-opted her then fiancé Tom. Despite the production was a roaring success, Tristram Hawshaw’s review in The Borchester Echo was headlined “Ambushed in Ambridge” and went on to say "even a script in rhyming couplets couldn't prevent the Merry Women sounding like a Tufnell Park consciousness-raising group circa 1977.” Ever-loyal Robert called Tristram a fool.

An Elizabethan Christmas (2012)

Rather than a full-length play this was a collection of extracts from Shakespearean plays and Elizabethan songs. When Lynda realised someone was needed to hold the whole show together, she knew Kenton would be the perfect person. Unfortunately for Lynda he was Lord of Misrule off the stage as well as on. Added to this, Lynda had to deal with a general costume nightmare and Susan exclaiming she was going to have her hands full getting Pat Fletcher into a boned bodice!

When it comes to the nightmares that can beset theatrical productions, Lynda has almost definitely faced them all. What will she create for 2016? It'll be the first Christmas Show to grace the village hall's stage since its new curtains were installed. Break a leg Lynda!

The Grundys go back to their roots

2016-09-15T09:50:23+00:00

At last, Joe's ferrets will have a permanent home.

The Grundys leaving Grange Farm when they lost it and had to move to Meadow Rise was a seminal and heartbreaking moment in the life of The Archers.

So much history, so much triumph, tragedy and so many entrepreneurial disasters. Grange Farm never felt quite right without Eddie and Clarrie at the helm, not to mention Joe’s combinations warming over the mantelpiece, so listeners to The Archers everywhere are rejoicing at the news that the family will continue their tenancy of the farm.

It was a bittersweet moment for Eddie, Clarrie and Joe (along with Ed, Emma and the children) when post-flood Ambridge saw them house-sit Grange Farm when Caroline and Oliver Sterling left for Tuscany. Delighted as they were to be back, it was poignant to see the Grundys enjoying an extended family Christmas in their old home, refurbished beyond all recognition by the Sterling’s extensive budget.

When Oliver and Caroline returned, much to the Grundy’s trepidation, it was with the news that they intended to sell the farmhouse in order to buy their own Tuscan villa. The Sterlings found Grange Farm slightly less immaculate than when they left it, with water damage due to an overflowing bath courtesy of Joe nodding off and a crack in the wall that appeared after an exuberant party.

While the Grundys made alternative arrangements, (Clarrie, Eddie and Joe could go to 1, The Green, and Ed, Emma and the children could return to Ambridge View, although that was unsatisfactory all round), a surveyor visited to investigate the damp patches appearing around the house, and suggested the removal of the nearby sycamore tree.

This triggered depression in poor old Joe (94); the tree represented the Grundys at Grange Farm to him and its loss brought home to him the fact that he was unlikely to be able to end his days at Grange Farm, as he’d always imagined he would. He tried to explain what the farm meant, to Oliver, although Caroline was slightly more reluctant to empathise with Joe.

Despite dropping their price, there was very little interest in Grange Farm, despite Clarrie’s frenzied cleaning. Caroline and Oliver had another look at their finances and rather than wave goodbye to the views of the golden Umbrian hills, decided they could just about afford their Italian dream if they rented out Grange Farm to the Grundys. The rent might be a stretch, but Joe gets to live out his life in the place he’s been happiest (apart from the Bull and the cider shed, obviously) - in his chair, at Grange Farm, with a ferret on his knee, surrounded by his family. Well played, Joe.

Find out more about the Grundy Family