BBC NEWS | Backstage Blog

Eileen and the Tale of Teddy Terror

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 17:46:39 +0000

Ever heard the fable about the happy squirrel who tried to do too much? The happy little squirrel decided to help everyone else with their business because she was so fabulously excellent at everything she put her mind to. One day, she saw that her baby-daddy was having problems with a nasty bully who was extorting money from him and so she took the most sensible course of action and...organised a back-alley drug deal! Really Eileen? Really? At what point did this seem like a good idea to you?

Never mind that her plan not only involved having poor wee Stevie buying her smack, but there was a whole second part that involved her sneaking up on Shady Sean and planting his own smack in his pockets! Who on earth could have seen that plan going wrong? But of course, poor Eileen had no idea what on earth she was getting herself into and really thought she could outwit Shieldinch's Criminal Mastermind. But never underestimate a man who is chauffeured by a bunch of heavies. It was a scary moment there when Sean cornered her in her own house, scary enough for Eileen to go and admit to Will that she decided to try her hand at entrapment. It looked like proper sour grapes when Will had to break it to her that she wasn't above the law. Ouch. That must be hard for her to swallow. So what can we learn from Eileen's experience, kids? Shady Sean isn't a Teddy man...he'd much prefer a Mr Frosty.

But it was poor Stevie who was bearing the brunt of it this week. Despite angrily chewing on his nails and spitting out 'No Comment' when Will accused him of being a drug fiend (again), he looked so sad in his cold prison cell. Didn't you just want to climb into the pokey with him and give him a great big hug? Anyone? No? Just us then. Losing his job was just the cherry on the cake! What's going to happen to the Brodies now without his valuable bartending income? Well, at least Leyla's cut down on her booze expenses.

Speaking of, Leyla has given us a crash course in things NOT to say at your very first AA meeting. In summation, anything involving what an awful drunk everyone is except for you, laughing at the prospect of having to keep yourself sober and, numero uno, telling your sponsor that you'd kill for a drink the minute you leave the AA meeting. No wonder she needed some home truths from the Dashing Doctor Dan.

But what's this? What's this we hear? Are you leaving us Doctor Dan? Who are these Peace Doctors anyway? You could hear the NOOOOOOOOOO all the way in Greenock when our medical genius announced that he's leaving. But let's hope he gets a good send off if he is deserting Shieldinch for pastures new.

Next week:
Is Don Raymondo finally standing up to Shady Sean? And - we can't even bear to think about it - could Will be cheating on our Robbie?

Quote of the week:
Leyla: It's not like I was knocking back cans on the steps of the library or anything!
Sees man sitting next to her who has clearly done just that.
Leyla: ...uh....sorry.

WATCH OUT WORLD - LEYLA'S ON THE LASH

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 19:13:54 +0000

Ahhhhh the perils of sweet alcoholic nectar, eh Leyla? One minute you're stroking the muscular thigh of Hot Tom, the next...well, Murray wouldn't have been our first choice despite his nice car.

Poor Mrs Brodie. Life hasn't been an easy ride for her this last couple of months, and sometimes it's all too easy to take the whisky drink. And the vodka drink. And the lager drink. And the...three bottles of wine. It's no surprise Murray had a chance of getting lucky after that little lot. But kids, here comes the science bit. As Leyla learnt to her detriment, alcohol will not solve your problems. It'll make you fall over in pubs, full-on-mouth-snog inappropriate men and force Dr Dan to perform emergency vomiting procedures in your living room. Leyla's near brush with death seems to have hit home though and it was good to see that she's finally acknowledged she's got a problem. For a fleeting moment RC Towers held its breath as it looked like a Geyla reunion might be on the cards! But...alas, it is not to be. I think we can safely say a flame will always burn brightly between these two, like the Olympic Torch of Love. Well, for the next two weeks at least.

A la Mrs Brodie, most people go to the pub to escape their problems but Raymond's are right on his doorstep. Shady Sean is just getting mean now. Threatening Eileen is one thing (she can be a bit of a handful sometimes). But wee Stuart? Cute l'il Baby Stuart? Now that, Shady, is a step too far. Not even Donald and Cooper, the crime fighting dynamic duo, had much to offer on this one. But getting out of town is no option for Raymondo. Our favourite landlord leaving his beloved pub? NEVER! Instead he's taken the heart-breaking step of moving Eileen and Stuart out of the family home and out of reach of nasty gangster-types. Poor Raymondo. How long can this go on?

Montego Street ran rivers as the tears flowed for the departure of the gorgeous, wonderful and much loved-up Hayley. Just in time probably, or we might have been watching Hayles and Leyla going at it hammer and tongs over Hot Tom (we told you he was a hottie, see?!). Aside from Deek's thoughtful (if not slightly weird!) pressie, the gang were out in force to send Shieldinch's favourite young lovers into the sunset, and down south to Brighton near London, remember! We'll be sad to see our Hayles go, but turn down the chance to live on the beach? You're joking?! We're right behind you Hayley! (Mainly because we like watching Tom from behind!) It was also a lovely emotional send-off for our well-loved actress Pamela Byrne. RC Towers was lucky enough to host a live web chat for her straight after the show this week. Read through the questions and Pamela's answers. Congratulations if she answered your question!

Next week: Raymond's been robbing Peter and Paul, Shady Sean's making a stand and Deek just doesn't get Will...

Quote of the week:
Big Bob: Look, don't take this the wrong way, right, we've all done it. But do you think you've maybe had enough already?
Leyla: Right. And you're some kind of expert on moderation are you? You really know when enough's enough, eh? When to stop stuffing it down?

Fancy a chat with Hayley?

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:32:57 +0000

We have some very exciting news for you all. After tomorrow night's episode Pamela Byrne, aka Hayley, will be joining us right here for a live chat. Get your questions in right now and join Pamela from 9-10pm. You can also join in the discussion on Facebook or Twitter using #askRiverCity.

He's Got 99 Problems but the Ship Ain't One

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 16:52:37 +0000

...Or so Raymond thought. But the lovable landlord of our favourite local found himself properly in the mud this week. Enemies were kept close while friends were stabbed in the back and now we've got Shady Sean and his equally shady cronies hanging around the Ship all day and all night! Poor Raymond. By the end of the day, even Jimmy was done with his bezzie mate when Raymond broke the cardinal rule of Bro-Code - never ban your mate from your bar!

Mind you, he probably didn't really help matters by going all Raging-Bull-De-Niro on us! He stormed round to Lenny's, thumping his chest with passion and pride (proving too much for his 40s-style detective Dictaphone) and then chucked out poor contrite Jimmy with all the pomp and bombast of Paul Vitti in Analyze This!

He even had a handle on the labyrinthine mind games of the Shieldinch Don. The Ship's been ransacked but he's not going to report it to the Police, cause that's what Lenny wants him to do, so Lenny must have a plan that he'll cleverly outwit by not doing the thing that Lenny seems to want him to do. Aha!........eh?

Best be leaving it to the real gangsters, Raymondo. And unfortunately, that's exactly what happened! We thought it was too good to be true when we saw Sean actually being....pleasant? Nice? Polite? And we were right! It was all a ploy to get Raymond in Sean's manky pocket. But Gabes?! What on earth were you doing?! Hands up if you were yelling at your TV in horror when Gabes lied through his teeth and stuck up for Sean? Immediately delivered, discounted booze with no money upfront, Raymond? You don't have to have a good nose to smell that this was a dodgy prawn in your curry. Even Stevie could see this was not shaping up to be a great situation and got the penny to finally drop.

Gabes himself did not look happy about it but did he really need to take it out on poor Leyla? We had high hopes for a rekindled romance for The Geyla when she invited Gabes round for dinner. But after being rejected so coldly, Leyla's seems like she's fallen off of the wagon big time and the only dinners she'll be having in a while are going to be liquid. How long before the kids realise that her early nights are actually binges in disguise?

Elsewhere, friendships were being tested over at No. 18 when Robbie took advantage of his Special Robbie Discount to buy the salon on the cheap. But he can't do it alone, and you can always rely on Good Old Deek to save the day. But he hadn't reckoned on the business acumen and controlling powers of Will. Poor Deek didn't see it coming at all. And though we love Will and Robbie together, we have to say that Deek was speaking some pretty uncomfortable home truths. Hmm, Robbie, you might want to watch that one and his patronising couch-pats.

Next Week: Raymond fights back! But will the exterminators clear the rat in his roost? And it looks like Leyla's drinking is catching up with her.

Quote of the week:
Robbie: You like me, don't you?
Will: Robbie, everybody likes you. I love you.
Robbie: Well, that's good.
Will: Isn't it.

The True Story of Rebel Bob - Lover, Fighter, Queue Jumper....

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 15:45:40 +0000

It's been a bittersweet few weeks for Wee Bob. Excited about prospective baby-ness (despite Stella's intensive procreation schedule), the pair overcame that rough patch when it turned out Stella was a healthy baby-making machine. Horrible then for Bob to discover that he is, as Molly so delicately put it, firing blanks. But it's a bit more complicated than that...Bob's little fellas aren't great at swimming and once they get there, well, they're in no fit state to do the deed. Cue some heart-wrenching moments as he struggles to tell his lovely lady wife the bad news. Not even jumping the queue at the Oyster gave him a chance to reveal the truth.

Trapped in a pincer movement between Matriarchal Mullens he eventually spilled the beans to Scarlett, who with all her customary tact, proceeded to tell just about everyone who'd listen in Shieldinch. Including our Stella ... Uh oh. Devastated Bob took his anger out on anything to hand...a spanner, the car bonnet. And then, in Shieldinch's answer to Bridget Jones, Stevie. In RC's very own Hugh Grant/Colin Firth tribute, these two were only broken apart from the hair-pulling and head-locking when our fave DC stepped in to break up the fisticuffs.

Understandably devastated, it took Stella to break him out of this reverie. This, people, is true love at work. They're at their best when they're together and babies or no babies, this pair deserve a break. Come on Baby-Gods-of-Fate, make it happen!

An interesting trivia fact though - did you know Wee Bob has never been in a spaceship? Strange, but true.

Slightly closer to home (though only slightly), Brighton looms large on the horizon for our Hayley. Brighton, near London? Well, only in relation to its distance from Glasgow Hayles! Should she follow love's true dream and move with Tasty Tom down south? Give up everything in Shieldinch for a new life near the beach? YES! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?! GO! It took resident agony aunts Malcolm and Liz to kick things into focus and say 'Hayles, when it's right, it's right'. And there are some lovely cafes down there. Just sayin'. An initially devastated Robbie eventually decided to accept the inevitable and pulled out a classic from the Penguin Book of Clichés. We've all heard the classics - 'it's not you, it's me'; 'every cloud has a silver lining'. And his choice? 'Love doesn't come with a safety net'. So true. Trapeze does though, so if things with Tom don't work out maybe Hayles could consider a future in the circus?!

So, as if there wasn't enough change going on in Shieldinch this week...possibly the weirdest and most unnerving change of all was still to come. Shady Sean being...nice? Well this surely can't be right. Someone get that spaceship back down here...it's lost one of its passengers. (And we can try to get Wee Bob a ride, we like to make dreams come true.) It's always nice to bond with the local publican, but when the thing you've got in common is a shared hatred of Lenny Murdoch, it's not likely to end well. Even Gabe looked shaken by this new and frankly upsetting union. We've got bad feelings in our waters people!

Next week, Raymondo dsicovers the Ship in a terrible mess, and Robbie ponders over an offer he really shouldn't refuse!

Quote of the week:
Zinnie: Eileen put me in charge and I think you need to work.
Scarlett: Well, you carry on thinking, you need the practice.

Birds, Bees and Buffay - It's the Shieldinch Circle of Life

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 11:57:50 +0000

After the traumatic events of this week's episode, it feels like a good time to take inspiration from that 20th century philosophical genius, Phoebe Buffay.

Sometimes, men love women. Sometimes, men love men.

And that's really all there is to it. But not for Paul and Ben, Shieldinch's local homophobic-pint-drinking thugs. Poor Robbie was up in court this week, faced with his nasty attackers, all smug in their cheap suits. Subjected to a right rollicking from the mean old barrister, our Robster was left feeling the cold hand of justice, as testimony from Hayles and Will got thrown out with the bath water. As Will rightly said, they wouldn't have met each other if it hadn't been for them....mmmm. We're stroking our metaphorical beards thoughtfully. Maybe Will isn't everything we hoped he'd be?

Here at RC Towers, we're beginning to wonder if Deek's worries might not be unfounded. In Robbie's darkest moments, Will could only let his anger get the better of him, pushing past Robbie and forcing him against an old rusty nail in the doorframe - health and safety first people! Will seems to have more faces than Big Ben right now - one minute playing caring cop with Robbie's friends, the next, he's denying touching a hair on pretty Robbie's head...we thought his violent streak was reserved for the likes of Shady Sean in fairly-public-places. After everything Poor Robbie's gone through, surely Will isn't turning on him too? When your fiance's more interested in chasing down dead bodies than being by your side in court, no amount of smoked salmon tartlets will smooth over those cracks. Lets just hope Will isn't about to get all Sue-Barker-with-a-bazooka on us...

Meanwhile, Leyla seems to have cleared the house of anything resembling alcohol (yes, even that old bottle of voddy hidden in her shoe). She's clearly having a bit of a struggle with this one, but still isn't ready to hold her hands up to the problem just yet. True, a quick drink after work is not the same as shooting up in an alleyway Leyla....but stashing bottles of vodka in the wardrobe and setting fire to the house is surely heading in the right direction! And was it really soda water in that glass?! We've all pulled that trick, and no one ever believes it! With Stevie and Nicole doubting her every word, will their tough love work? Or force Leyla back to where she started? To be fair, watching to make sure Leyla's not drinking might be the least of Nicole's worries. Stevie looks pretty handy with that tea towel...

Finally a bit of good news for Stella and Bob - looks like she's got the all clear on the baby-making front - phew! But they're still not preggers...so, what have they been doing wrong?! Stella's got every leaflet and sexual positions poster out there, she's timed their 'trying' to within an inch of their lives and pestered Poor Wee Bob til he broke. They can't still be in the dark about the birds and the bees?! Maybe all they need is some time, space and a bit of peace and quiet...not likely with Scarlett sneaking around making euphemistic references to sausages. If anything's going to kill the mood, it'll be that!

Next week, Bob's going to the doctor...and it's definitely not for that leg hanging off. And what's this, Tom's off down South? NOOOOOOOOOO!

Quote of the week:
Scarlett: Some folk take ages getting pregnant. Others just get up the duff before you can say 'babygrow'...

It's a Party for One and It's Not Going Well

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 19:22:04 +0000

We've all done it, haven't we? Woken up and realized we'd sent that voicemail or message that we didn't mean to? Pranged that car and thought about just driving away? Danced around the living room to our favourite sexy tune getting quietly smashed all by ourselves? Yes, ok, we'll give you that - but all in the one night? Then followed by two bottles of wine with three quarters of a bottle of vodka? Leyla seems like she's really gone too far this week and is in some serious denial.

How on earth was she still standing? Her attempts to hide it from Nicole were pretty pitiful. And sneaking the bottle top off the table isn't really covering it up when she was blasting the music up full volume at 10 o'clock at night. She was also terrible at hiding the car accident as she stared intensely at Murray's damaged wagon in a public place. At the end of a very drunken day, even enabler Nicole was wavering at Leyla's mid-afternoon binge! Cleaning up your step-mum's vomit? Now that's dedication Nicole and Stevie. And after seeing Leyla sitting pounding back the vodka in floods of tears, it seems like things are going to get worse before they get better.

Speak of poor wee souls, awww, Iona. Her face was a picture when she saw her beloved Tom snatching some more kisses in the street with Hayley (though way to go guys - right in front of the mini-market is the BEST place to hide it). Even Robbie was offering to help Iona take a pop at Hayley as our two fabulous ladies fought it out over Tom. Their argument at the Ship almost looked like it was going to descend into catfight central with the poor guy sitting next to them at the bar pretending he couldn't hear a thing! But, being classy through and through, they'd barely been fighting a day before they made up. Hands up though if you were hoping for a Tom-Tug-of-War? Honest, now!

Liz and Malcolm, the couple that give us hope that true love knows no age, were being very sweet this week. Liz's admission that she's scared about Malcolm slipping away from her would have melted the hardest heart and, despite his doubts, Malcolm just couldn't let her down. With a bit of hesitation, his nifty piano skills came right back to him after just a look from Liz.

Just stray observations but who thinks "The Hungarian Clown" is the romantic film of the year? And our Deek's getting cheeky in his old age, what with cheerleaders making him 'think' and all.

Next week: Robbie has to face his attackers once more. Let's hope there'll be no more homophobic pints for them...in jail.

Quote of the week:
Murray: I don't want your money
Gabriel: You're not getting it. Bob is and you're getting your mid-life crisis tragic wagon brought back to its form glory.

Secrets, Lies and Games of Pool

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 09:40:49 +0000

Isn't getting a new job meant to be a cause for celebration? Champagne popping, balloons and stuff....but Gabe's 'promotion' in this week's episode must be one of the worst ever. We're not sure how much of a step up it is from dodgy laptops to running prostitutes, but we're thinking Gabe should be feeling pretty hard done by here. At least before the worst he could get was a complaint about the sound card. Oh Gabe, what's gone wrong? But he wants out, it's mean Ole Lenny that won't let him escape...even though Lenny feels Gabe owes him, was this really what he had in mind? Poor Gabe's at the end of his tether, living a life in the criminal underworld is definitely not all it's cracked up to be. So what's his bright idea? Going to the police! Put down the Kool Aid and wake up Gabe - this can never end well!

The only upside to this whole situation is that Sir Gabe, our Knight in a Shining BMW, seems to be rearing his head again. As cray-cray as this situation is, Gabe genuinely wants to help these girls - if he has to be in this horrible place, the least he can do is try and keep them safe. Nice idea but he's playing a dangerous game though, Shady Sean doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would take betrayal very well....And what's this little spark between our Gabe and Angie? Just relief that they've found an ally in each other, or perhaps something more? Gabe did rather seem to be belittling his boudoir talents in front of her though...that's no way to kick things off, is it Gabe?! Maybe she'll be won over by his lovely hair.

One person who isn't susceptible to Gabe's charms is Luscious Liz, who gave him a sizeable piece of her mind after his outburst at a terrified Malcolm. Good on ya, Liz! Not only defending your man but giving Gabe an ultimatum to sort himself out. If only it was that easy...

But now ladies and gents, we return to our coverage of the world's most inept pool tournament, held today at the Tall Ship, Shieldinch. Seriously guys, if a misspent youth gives you anything it's a basic talent for pool. What with Robbie missing shots all over the place and Tom deliberately messing up to impress, what kind of gamesmanship is this? What's wrong with some good old fashioned competition? In fact, we challenge them to a game of pool right now. We've already put a pound on the table - it's on!

But what's this? Tom's missed shot was all a ruse to get our Hayles into his clutches!
We wouldn't mind our favourite Geek Chic fella kissing us roughly outside the Ship. Lucky girl Hayley. He probably deserved that slap, but she certainly didn't mind partaking in round two later on, did she? Could this be the beginning of a beautiful new thing for Hayley? Awww, we hope so!

But while Robbie is off playing pool, his fiancé is chatting up Gabe at the bar. Ok, he's fishing for info, but 'How you doin'?' as an opening line Will?! That only ever works for Joey Tribbiani, and you know it.

Next week in Shieldinch - Quelle Surprise...Leyla's drunk again. How is the mini-market keeping up with her demand?!

Quote of the week:
Lenny: 'I've got your back'
Gabe: 'Then all I've got to worry about is my front'.

A Classic Tale of Boy Meets Boy

Amy Thurgood (BBC News) — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 10:42:29 +0000

It was a case of secrets and lies this week in Shieldinch with everybody keeping something from somebody else.

And, if nothing else, we can say that we mostly have a bunch of smart cookies in our hood. Most people saw through the nonsense, the subterfuge, and the baloney. We had Molly seeing right through Robbie's worries and giving him the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' advice (plus preventing a buzz cut, well spotted). Tattie sniffed out the cheeky pack of crisps peeking out Bob's back pocket as well as the terrifically well-hidden ENTIRE BOX from earlier. And there was no pulling the wool over Gabriel's eyes when Leyla fell asleep *COUGH passed out * after a glass *COUGH bottle* of wine. Yeah, Leyla, we totally believe you.

We say mostly because there was one person who just seemed ever so curiously befuddled. Who seems not to have a scoobie what on earth's going on with the folk around him. Who you ask? Why, our very own Doctor Dan. Not notice anything unusual, did you? In Leyla's midden with her still in her PJs, doc? Robbie crying in the middle of the street and looking horrified when you mention the homophobic attack? Big Bob breaking into the crisp packet the minute you turned your back? Nothing at all to suggest that not everything was 100%? Come on, Doc! You're supposed to be our hero-surgeon type who sorts everybody out. You're supposed to have a sixth sense about these things. We believe in you!

However, joking aside, it seemed like the people who were most taken in, were lying to themselves. Oh Will and Robbie, we were over the moon when our lads got engaged this week! It was all so perfect until it all went so wrong. The boys may say that everything is all right but Will's violent streak is becoming trickier to ignore. Whatever Robbie said, he did not deserve to be smacked up against the wall and as much as Will might say 'it'll never happen again' it's a dangerous path to be going down. For now, it looks like the boys have made up but poor Robbie seemed more that a little concerned at the end of his engagement party. Here's hoping Will manages to control that temper of his and doesn't take it out of our Robbie again.

In other news, Leyla continues to drink the lala juice until she can block out everything and succeeded in nearly burning the house down. Thank goodness our dashing Mr Brodie was there to save the day. Anyone else all a-flutter when he kicked the door down in a manly fashion? However, in true Nicole style, the thanks he got was to be immediately kicked out without so much as a thank-you-cuppa. But this meant we did get treated to the wonderful sight of Stevie looking very confused at a power drill as he prepared to fix the front door. He did not seem confident, did he? Here's hoping that they can get the door fixed before next week. Come on, Leyla! We know things are tough and the kids are obnoxious (though they're kids so it's kind of their job) but you seem to be teetering on the edge there. Fingers crossed she lays off the binge drinking in bed, for her kids if nothing else.

Next week: Sean is giving Gabriel more marching orders, never a good sign, and Angie, our favourite no nonsense girl, is back. And do we see her chatting with Gabe?

Quote of the week:

Molly: (With horror) Whit are you doing wi' that?! I'm no wanting a baldy!

A 21st Century Love Story - Sean 4 Gabes

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 14:21:05 +0000

Now, don't get us wrong. Here at RC Towers we're peeking out from behind the sofa whenever Shady Sean pulls up in Shieldinch. But last night, we think we saw a flash of...well...humanity...in those otherwise emotionally-dead eyes. He is SO happy to have found a new bezzie in (wait for it!) GABES! Awww Gabes! The fact that he's got a little pet name for him already would be kinda cute if it wasn't Sean saying it. Bonding as they attempt to knock off some dodgy laptops, sharing a smile across the wheel of the van; they were only minutes away from becoming blood brothers before the polis rocked up and ruined the party...

...but wait? Who's behind this shock raid on the most conspicuous van in Shieldinch? Only our favourite gangster - LENNY ! Yes, Lenny is back on top and playing games at his best - he sure is determined to bring this Sean fella down - whilst keeping intact the most important moral guide for all gangsters, the Criminal Code. It's written down somewhere, but you can't see it. Oh no, it's only for the gangsters. And he's not even afraid to get Gabes (this nickname is totally sticking) involved in the arresting action - much to his chagrin. Never mind Lenny, give him some whisky, that'll help him forget all about those boggin' cells.

As for Will, the episode started well with another gratuitous shirtless shot of our fave DC. But we're not sure we're liking where he's going with this temper....we thought he was such a nice kindhearted boy? Now, it's one thing getting frustrated in the interview room (although silly and just a little unprofessional William). But taking your anger outside the police station and into the middle of Shieldinch? Will! It was the worst game of Cluedo ever as we all knew that it was Will, in the Pend, with his truncheon. You'd think he could have raided the evidence room for a mask at least. Have you learned nothing from all these dodgy crims you've been chasing in your gilet?

Can we just take some time out of this week's blog to discuss the cracking one liners DCI Donald is coming up with nowadays?! He's turning into a regular joke factory, though perhaps not intentionally. Coming to a shopping channel near you soon, a special DVD of his best moments, including such classics as:

• 'It's too early to talk about serial killers'. (it's never too early Donald, not in Shieldinch)
• 'Disneyland, where do you think?' (when asked where he's taking Gabes)
• 'Sometimes the bad guys get away' (only if you're a rubbish policeman!)

And our personal fave:

• The awkward moment where you wait for the excruciatingly-long-beep of the interview tape recorder. Ouch.

While Donald and Will were busy doing their best CSI Shieldinch impressions, the real effects of the Silvie's death were being visited on Poor Tattie. We're not sure how many times we've called Tattie that in the last few weeks but she's really going through the wringer this series. Poor Tattie. After a heart-wrenching moment in the morgue, she felt the wrath of Dan after Bob forgot to tell him where Tattie had gone. Thankfully Dan finally apologised, but Big Bob didn't. Oh no. He's feeling sorry for himself that he hasn't got Tattie's undivided attention. Anyone else worry that this love story is heading for the rocks? We don't want our Bob and Tattie to fight!

But let's end this blog on a happy note shall we? Has anyone else noticed the furtive (and actually, not very well hidden) looks between Hayles and Clark-Kent-Lookey-Likey Tom?! Here at RC Towers we're a BIG fan of the geek-chic, and our Tom has this in spades...we can see what Hayley might be finding interesting about this new man on the block! But with Iona clearly smitten, how's this going to work? Uh oh!

Next week, Robbie and Will are talking about being shacked up with 2.4 dogs (aaaaaawwwwwww!) and Gabe is the man to call when something maybe possibly might be on fire.

Quote of the week:

Very hard this week, there's been so many good ones. But after much deliberation it has to be...

Raymond: (so very very casual) What do you know about VAT?
Tom: .....Really?

Molly and Tatiana O'Hara: Wonder Woman and Super Nurse

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 16:23:53 +0000

Well folks, we'll tell you this now - if we are ever in trouble with anything, we want Molly and Tatiana O'Hara ring side. How amazing were those two this week? Sure, they were both pretty mean to poor wee Silvie to begin with. Molly was standing for no-nonsense at first and giving Silvie the no-nonsense eye to boot. While Tattie sang the tough love song and chuck her out on the street! But after the daring duo soon had taken Silvie under their wing, you knew tell they'd have fought to the death to help her out.

Tattie was particularly awesome this week doing her ER thing with Doctor Dan. Once Silvie had proved herself trustworthy, Tattie did everything she could (including getting into a domestic with Bob) to keep her safe and sound. Meanwhile, Molly was the one who kept the heid. Wow, that was one impressive poker face when Sean turned up at her doorstep and her giving Sean what for is definitely one of our highlights! Meanwhile, she knew exactly who to go to for getting things sorted - the Godfather of Shieldinch, Lenny. Her indignation when the grandfather of her great grandson wouldn't help her was another highlight as she flagged Will down in the street to scream at him that Lenny Murdoch had told her to go to the Polis!!!! You couldn't ask for two more determined people to help you out.

So it's all the more tragic that even they couldn't stop Shady Sean coming for his girl in the end! Especially looming over Silvie in the middle of the night! Eeek, that's going to give us nightmares for weeks to come. On a serious note, folks Silvie's story was pretty hard to hear but unfortunately not uncommon. Poor, poor Silvie. What a horrible thing to have gone through. And too many young and vulnerable people get drawn into her very dangerous world. Here's hoping that Silvie might manage to escape.

Across town, Will and Robbie's flat was looking fabulous as you would imagine. Although, quite a few people (Robbie, DCI Donald AND Bob) were very interested in Will's soft furnishings. Those must have been some seriously comfortable pillows. Poor Robbie, there he was trying to be nice and he ended up getting his head bitten off by DC Nasty! Come on Will, this is the side of you we've come to know and love. And we were loving Robbie's style, with his home mural and little wooden sailors. What's Will's problem? Still, it didn't stop Robbie being hostess with the mostest. Mai Tai anyone?!

Mind you, it seemed like all the young people were having trouble with their love lives this week! Hayley was getting depressed enough with online dating to give FHM-loving Mike a go...only to be knocked back. Oooh, ouch. And Iona was trying desperately to give snugly suited Tom the eye and trying to get Hayley to help her out. Hayley, in turn, epically failed at making Iona look good by nearly shoplifting some biscuits. Way to go Hayles. In fact, everyone was having a bad time of it apart, it seems, from Deek who has become a stud with a terrible dating strategy. Yes, Deek, absolutely go and date tons of women and tell them exactly how many women you're dating. Hands up if you think that will leave him with any second dates?

Coming up next week: What's this?! Do we see the dastardly DCI Donald making a deal with Lenny Murdoch?! And Tattie and Big Bob still haven't made up.

Quote of the week: Iona (never more grateful to see anyone in her life): Oh look, there's Deek!

STOP! Oh yes, wait a minute Mr Postman...

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:11:02 +0000

Leyla and Nicole

We knew this episode was going to throw spanners at Shieldinch when Molly was so cheerful with the local postie. Something wicked this way comes.....

...much like this little spanner here. You might remember The One And Only Vikki Tennant abandoned us for rehab a little while back. Well, through the secret medium of Chinese Whispers she's finally been back in touch...I leave you in her hands...

Dear blog-fans, no, I haven't gone the way of my brother Cameron Tennant, I'm pleased to tell you that rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. However, it's been a busy couple of months for me which is why I left the Blog in the capable hands of MAMY. After the horrors of the Shieldinch Sex Tape I had to take some time out but just as I got over the night terrors, Lenny Murdoch found out that I'd stolen some of his drug money. He gave me an ultimatum - get out of Shieldinch within 24hours or be forced to listen to Murray's fishing tales for 2 hours. Well, of course, I just had to go. Unfortunately, I now find myself indebted to a moustache twirling villain by the name of Brendan Brady in a sleepy little village called Hollyoaks... So, what I'm trying to say in my roundabout way is I won't be back L It's very exciting but I'm really sad to be leaving River City. I've had a great couple of years on the show and I'm really going to miss it. What will I do without Tattie as an outlet for all my potato puns?! Thank you to everyone who has followed the Blog, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! I hate half-baked goodbyes so all I'll say is... Vikki is 'scone' for now.

We'll miss her muchly. We're just grateful she hasn't gone the way of a certain Doctor's wife and started spending her nights downing wine and ordering random parcels (at least, we don't think so....). We know she's stressed from all that sneaking around with Sir Gabe, but seriously?! (Leyla that is, not Vicki, that rumour is completely unfounded).

So BIG drama in the Brodie household this week! And the day didn't even start well for them what with Nicole and Stevie having to play Mummy and Daddy to Adeeb and Conor. (Though Stevie playing Dad with the terrible twosome was very cute - awwww!) He even managed to cut Nicole down to size with some home truths. Wow, that's a miracle worker and a half.

Meanwhile, Leyla's been sleeping soundly (i.e. drunkenly) with the contents of an off licence stashed under her bed. Not only is it the least obvious place EVER to hide your booze, we at RC Towers imagine its probably not the easiest place to get to with all those shoes, dresses, spa brochures arriving through the postbox. She's got to stash those somewhere!

And weirdly, Zinnie's conscience seems to be rearing its head again. Wait is she....human after all?! Poor Zinnie - she's no angel but getting the blame for Leyla's drunken escapades isn't fair! We almost (almost) feel sorry for her. Perhaps...she shouldn't have so blatantly accused Leyla of being a raging alcoholic in the street but she'll learn! She certainly didn't convince Nicole...until the Young Ms Brodie went sneaking in Leyla's bedroom. What's she hoping to find? Uncle Gabe hiding under the bed? Like father like daughter! It's that kind of paranoid behaviour that is getting her Dad so riled in the nick. That was a heck of a talking to from Michael. No wonder Leyla was getting ready to tank the booze and let rip at Stevie. Who's taken my incredibly well-hidden stash of booze?!! We quite fancy our chances against Leyla in a game of hide and seek.

But our Poor Stevie - he blames himself for everything. Cammy, his murder, rubbish roast potatoes and...he's lost it, oh god, he's lost it! But he really was having to do everything around the house and talking to his mother-in-law about her drinking habits really was the last straw. After their incredibly awkward chat about her sex life as well. No wonder he finally let rip at Nicole when she demanded he make roast tatties as well. So a bit of harsh reality for Our Nic. And what did she learn from all this? Give the alkie more wine! Smooth move. We can see that ending well.

This week is just one surprise after another for RC Towers. Just when we thought the Evil Dr M couldn't come back from her mean treatment of Big Bob, she just redeems herself with a few kind words to Stella. We'd forgotten just how much life has turned around for Stella, so no wonder she's worried that she's messed up her future. But she seems to found an ally in Dr M. Lets hope everything falls into place for the arrival of a wee Wee Bob!

Ahhh Deek. Now we know you haven't been the luckiest in love, so living under the same roof as Shieldinch's greatest love affair can't be easy. But trying to quash their love with...paperwork?! Dearest Derek, step away from the stapler and realise this one isn't another flash in the pan. Our Robster's in love. Also, Will is like double your height and a hunky policeman. You were never going to win in that fight!

Next week: Tatiana is back trying to save poor souls when Silvie rocks back up in Shieldinch. But is that Shady Sean hot on her tail?

Quote of the week:
Stevie: Nicole, I don't think I can do this!
Nicole: Sure you can. You just add oil or something.

Dancing to the Jail House Ruckus

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:18:18 +0000

Well that was a rollicking ride through the dark side of Shieldinch....all this tension and drama is going to have us in a right old state!

Brotherly love was in short supply this week with the long awaited return of Brodie the Elder. We finally got to catch a glimpse of Michael's life in prison. And boy, what a fetching sweatshirt! It's obviously tough for poor Mickey locked away in there but telling Gabe to get out of Weege town? Glasgow North Prison felt like the OK Corral for a second there as the two brothers butted heads...and fists butted faces. Michael must have started lifting the weights as soon as the gate closed. That was one cracking right hook...

But kids, learn Michael's lesson. Violence doesn't pay. As he inevitably found out at the hands of Shady Sean's henchmen. It's starting to look like the newest gangster on the block is really getting his claws out...first with Michael, then with Lenny! Stuck trying to protect all and sundry from harm, it seems like Sir Gabriel of Brodie is heading towards darker places. But at least he's still got Liz to polish the Arcade machines whenever he's out. Phew!

But Gabe didn't just get a mouthful from the troublesome trio of Michael, Sean and Lenny this week. Oh no. Leyla had to put her tuppence worth in too...it was obviously all a bit much for her as she downed another glass (or six) of wine during lunch with a bemused Zinnie. Bemused because her usual breezy bitchiness seems to be disturbed by this pesky sense of right and wrong and the unsettling, unfamiliar feeling of concern for someone other than herself. One part of her brain is telling her all those bottles in the recycling ain't right, the other is telling her to run to that ATM quick sharp whilst Leyla is three sheets to the wind! Zinster, we can see a conscience lurking somewhere in there. Will we ever see it again?! We can't deny that Leyla's got it tough over there, what with Conor missing his Uncle Gabe, and Nicole being...well...Nicole. But that's a darn dangerous slippery slope you're on Mrs B.

On the upside, romance isn't dead in Shieldinch...it's just gone digital! Loved up Robbie can't bear to see Hayley lonely (plus he's just dying to gush about The Big W whenever and wherever he can!) Watch out Cilla, there's a new matchmaking team in town - Robbie and, erm...Deek. No, we wouldn't fancy them setting us up either. Entrepreneurial athlete Hayley wasn't all that happy at first but when Robbie finally realised what an eejit he was being, his lovely words melted her heart. Aww Hayles, we want you to find a nice fella too! They've got hats on sale and we've got our eye on a bargain...

Next week: Leyla's been splashing out and Nicole's desperate to visit her banged up Daddy

Quote of the week:
Lenny: "Course he cannae keep his hands off his brother's wife! How's he gonnae keep a secret, eh?" Oooooh, burn.

Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about? COOPER!

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Thu, 17 May 2012 11:45:47 +0000

Does anybody else think that Molly could be the next Bond villain with a laugh like that? That was one moustache-twist away from being maniacal when both Big Bob and Gabriel got on the receiving end of the Mollinator's sharp tongue. What a shame she couldn't cow down Shady Sean as well. We're not best pleased to see this nasty figure start to encroach on the good folk of Shieldinch. Judging by our very own Don Lenny's reaction to him, it seems like he's seriously bad news. So, Gabriel! What are you doing?! Shieldinch's last remaining adult male Brodie was not making the best kind of decisions this week when he got into bed (metaphorically) with this Sean character. Not to mention the foot-stomping strop he had when Lenny asked him to pick up his lucky suit. Come on guys, why are you fighting over your glad rags? You're supposed to be hard-living gangsters!

Here's hoping that dashing DC Cooper closes the net round the dastardly Sean sooner rather than later. Though he maybe needs a wee bit of practice sneaking up on people. Switching your mobile phone off is surely Rule No. 1 closely followed by Rule No. 2 - Don't let wee neds bash your head into a brick wall. Poor Will. He managed to make DCI Donald royally peeved with his off-the-cuff investigation techniques AND got some war wounds in the bargain. But the idea of his man in action made Robbie swoon with delight and rush home to tend to his manly scrape. It looks like the lovebirds are taking the next step and moving in together! Can't wait to see how Zinnie and Deek get along with this new arrangement.

But speaking of trouble brewing, it looks like Big Bob's self-esteem hasn't improved since last week's pity-hire from Iona. With Tattie looking stunning in her new birthday top, all our favourite mini-market cashier wanted to do was hide away from the world. And who hasn't had that horrible moment when we walk into the pub and feel like everybody's laughing at us. Here's hoping the big yin is feeling perkier about himself next week. We know you can do it, Bob!

Coming up next week: Stop the presses!! Did we hear that Michael Brodie is back?!

Quote of the week
MOLLY: You better get changed before a button flies off and takes somebody's eye oot. Ahahahahahaha! AAAhahahahahahaha! AAAAAhahahahahahaha!!

This week's blog was brought to you by guest editors MAMY.

Episode VI: The Return of the Burns

Vikki Tennant (BBC News) — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:18:54 +0000

So, random poll, who else was very excited to see Stevie Burns back on the streets of Shieldinch? Need we ask?! The cheeky-chappy-recovering-druggie was back and with a spring in his step in search of his beloved Nicole. Though, don't know about you, but Stevie's idea of romance left a little something to be desired. Sure, his heart was in the right place but his idea to attack-gift Nicole with a bunch of flowers in the middle of the street was more alarming than anything else. Surprise!!!!!! Anyone else would have had a heart attack but our Nicole didn't bat an eyelid. No one's sneaking up on her.

But poor Stevie. He had such big plans! Moving on with his life. Sprucing up his new bachelor pad with some fake leather sofas, a shag rug and a velour dressing gown (for the laaadies). And he's not home five minutes before Nicole's dragging him into her crazy domestic situation with the Geyla. Nicole went off the uber-brat scale when she discovered her step mum and Gabriel happened to be breathing the same oxygen and slapped the face off Leyla! Tsk, tsk Nicole. You packed an impressive backhand but where did it get you? Promptly kicked out with naught but your stylish hoodie and skinny jeans, that's where. Nicole's woe-is-me-woe-is-me routine was getting a tad old, especially when she turned on her beloved Stevie just for questioning her slap-happy attitude. We will admit that it was more than a little satisfying to see Stevie call her on what she was - a spoilt wee brat! Finally!

In other news, the Geyla are at it again! Who saw that coming? Although, it did not look as though a good time was being had by all. Sir Gabriel of Brodie gave the afternoon delight an overall rating of 'average'. Ouch! That made even us wince and poor Leyla was lost for words. She made so much effort as well with her fluffy blue dressing gown and wine breath. She also continued to be the worst adulteress ever and immediately confessed to an uncomfortable looking Stevie. Listening to his girlfriend's step mum talk about her sex life probably wasn't part of his just-released celebration plans. But he is nothing if not a miracle worker for getting Leyla and Nicole back on speaking terms. Here's hoping the Brodie household becomes a bit less fraught with him around (but who are we kidding.)

Elsewhere in Shieldinch, the winds of change were in the air. Big Bob has a new job working with Iona in the mini-market! The dream team are back together and tackling major social issues like OAP shoplifting. Molly, we salute you and your brave determination not to let age stand in the way of petty larceny. In fact, her attempt was so outstanding we're surprised Bob didn't let her away with it just on gumption alone! Poor Big Bob though. He has a new job and the love of good old Nurse Tattie but you could see the sadness in his face when he realised Iona gave him the job out of pity. Buck up, Bob! We know you can change your life for the better.

Speaking of new jobs, Murray's dream job came up and he asked Raymond to help him realise his ambition to be a bearded loner who manages fish.....really? Wow. Thankfully, Raymond took a leaf out of Stevie's book and gave it to him straight. Good job too. We like seeing Murray and his fancy car probably wouldn't have matched his Stornoway water bailiff hut.

And, awwwww. Poor Dan and Kelly-Marie, we hardly knew ye as a couple. It's sad to see them call it a day but our Kel and Dan were being dead responsible and putting their kids first. But you know what this means.....Doctor Dan is back on the market.

Coming up next week: The cops have set their eyes on Shady Sean and Big Bob doesn't look like he's amused at all. And did we see our Robbie getting dumped??!! Whit?!

Quote of the week.
GABRIEL: What? You think you can turn me on and off like a tap?