As millions stayed off work because of the 'adverse weather conditions' (London Underground's wording, not mine), you got the feeling Keane would have gladly walked to White Hart Lane from Liverpool, where he was proving as useful as a glass cricket bat to Rafa Benitez.

It completed a bizarre hat-trick for Redknapp, with the Irishman joining Jermain Defoe and Pascal Chimbonda at the Tottenham retirement home for old boys. But it proved to be a nice little earner for the club, reportedly £8m up on the transfer before add-ons, which should just about cover the Defoe deficit to Pompey.

Garry Cook, barely a household name in his own household a fortnight ago, was ridiculed by respected scribes like Patrick Collins, who opined in his column for the Mail: "He is a comic treasure. His quixotic pursuit of the Brazilian footballer Kaka has put a smile on the face of the nation."

The Sunday Mirror and News of the World also jumped on the Brent bandwagon, and with comments from Cook like "the speculative circus has taken us on a journey that we didn't want to go on", you could see where they were coming from.

The Kaka transfer saga experienced more twists and turns than Bez on a roller-coaster, before the Brazilian finally resisted the temptation to line up alongside Craig Bellamy for a relegation dog-fight.

Kaka insisted he spent less than 30 seconds pondering the decision - presumably the time it took him to realise he was never going to fit 'I belong to Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan' on his new vest.

Unless you're currently locked up with Mini-Me, you'll have witnessed the Liverpool gaffer's astonishing rant at Sir Alex Ferguson, which saw him digging a hole so deep, you felt sure he was going to suddenly disappear from view (like his captain on Match of the Day a few seasons ago).

You've got to hand it to Fergie. The master mischief-maker added Benitez to the ever-growing list of managers he's successfully turned into a set of those plastic chattering teeth - wind them up and watch them go.

Football and the weather - our two favourite national obsessions fused together by temperatures creating an atmosphere more icy than the day Roy Keane parted company with Sir Alex Ferguson.

The United boss kicked off the New Year with an uncharacteristic moan, suggesting the fixture list was rigged against his team - "They tell me it's not planned. Bloody hell!" But it's a sure fact he'll go into Sunday's huge game with Chelsea a happier man than Big Phil Scolari.

In 2002 (blimey have I really been here that long?) it was Good King Goldenballs, in 2003 Jonny Christmas, the following year Fergie/Wenger/Mourinho tribute We Three Kings, 2005 God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen (A Good Hiding From Freddie And The Boys) 2006 Away In A Strange Land (ZZ sees red) and last year Walking In A Hatton Wonderland.

For 2008 I've decided to have a bash at an abridged version of Hallelujah. I send my deepest apologies in advance to Leonard Cohen, the late, great Jeff Buckley and that other girl who's taken to singing it of late - her name escapes me.

Please send in your efforts - I'm sure you can do better (let's face it, it can't be hard). In the meantime....

HALLELUJAH (SORT OF)

Oh Chris Hoy you are the man
You've done things that no other can
You won three golds, but surely that''ll do ya?
That'll do ya, that'll do ya, that'll do ya, that'll do-oo-oo ya.

Hey Rebecca Adlington
We're all so glad that you swum
To two golds and a pair of Jimmy Choo-sa
Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-oo-oo sa.

Lewis Hamilton you're ace
You might not have won every race
Still, nice to know Alonso is a loser
Is a loser, is a loser, is a loser, is a lo-oo-oo-ser.

Cristiano take a bow
The things you did made us go wow!
The ladies loved you 'cos you're such a schmoozer
Such a schmoozer, such a schmoozer, such a schmoozer, such a schmoo-oo-oo-zer.

So join me as we sing this song
A year when Brits could do no wrong
A very merry happy Christmas to ya
Christmas to ya, Christmas to ya, Christmas to ya, Christmas to-oo-oo ya.

It was bad enough hearing the Wigan faithful singing "You're getting sacked in the morning!" (right chant, wrong day) but when his own fans joined in, Ince must have felt like the hapless Guv'nor in Prisoner Cell Block H during one of those canteen riots. Only this time there was no Bea Smith to bail him out.

As John Lennon once opined, there's 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire - Incey has disappeared down one, but rest assured he'll pop up again before the season's out.

Three days after leaving Sunderland, Keano was pictured minus the facial fluff that came in for a gentle ribbing in last week's blog.

Much as I'd like to think he's a regular reader of these pages and took my 'sailor action man' concerns to heart, the real reason for the trim probably lay a little closer to home. Soon after his departure he was photographed in the car alongside Mrs Keane, whose facial expression screamed: 'Razor! Roy! Now!'

Never mind that the Black Cats had just beeen whupped by Bolton, or lost five of their last six Premier League matches - the question on everyone's lips was, who did that fine facial fuzz remind them of?

"He should be a submarine captain with that beard," quipped Adrian Chiles on Match of the Day 2, looking nervously over his shoulder, while Guardian website reader Tom Hammett observed: "Is anyone else worried that Roy Keane's new look is remarkably similar to the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?"

Step forward Robinho, the global superstar who left passengers "open-mouthed" when he paid the £6 coach fare to take his girlfriend shopping - instantly elevating him to the position of England's new favourite footballer.

Not only that, the Manchester City hot-shot is apparently spending the rest of his spare time watching Coronation Street so he can learn the lingo - not bad for a £32.5m Brazilian who was reportedly only interested in the size of his pay cheque when he arrived on these shores.

The hapless keeper had them screaming: "He's A Calamity - Get Him Out Of Here!" following his latest blunder at Fulham, which handed Tottenham their first defeat under Harry Redknapp.

'Arry did his best to defend Gomes on Match of the Day, insisting the Brazilian would be man enough to accept the blame. "He'll hold his hands up," said Redknapp, while wondering why he hadn't done that an hour or so earlier.

The Stoke boss, fired up by Arsene Wenger's claims his side had deliberately set out to maim the Gunners, replied: "You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." Back of the net.

With Pulis's Abe Lincoln tribute raising the bar, what price Wenger confirming George Bush's theory that "we are getting more and more of our imports from abroad", while William Gallas plays down his Marlboro-Gate incident by insisting: "I didn't inhale"?

While Lewis Hamilton was snatching victory from the jaws of defeat in Sao Paulo, Stoke were doing a number on Arsenal thanks to Rory Delap and his unfeasibly large throw-ins (with apologies to Buster Gonad).

The dead-ball expert - and schoolboy javelin champion - has already inspired several chants among the Potteries faithful, with "It's just like watching Brazil" a particular favourite.

'Arry's the sort of bloke you'd love to have a few of beers with as he regaled you with tales of the good old days, the sort of bloke you'd pick as a Grandad for your kids and who most of us would like to see managing our club.

And there's the rub. If Spurs go down, then 'Appy 'Arry goes down with them and I for one would take no pleasure in seeing the old charmer's distinguished career go out with a whimper.

Just one of the Spurs jokes doing the rounds as the north London club slipped to their latest embarrassing defeat, at Stoke.

And there's more: "London Underground wish to apologise for the severe points failure in the Tottenham area"; "What have Spurs and a cocktail stick got in common? They've both got two points" - and so on and on and on.