RADIATION SICKNESS

Having always been a big fan of the 80's horror flick remake of The Fly, I couldn't wait to fall apart in front of my poor unsuspecting blind date. And I did, quite literally, fall apart. I told the poor girl that I worked in a nuclear power plant, and that other work colleagues had been dropping off like flies. Well, that was already enough to put the poor girl off her pizza. So, imagine her shock, when my skin began to bubble, my hair fell out and my tongue swelled up to the size of a balloon! I loved every shocking moment; although, even I was feeling a bit queasy when I had to put a real human tooth under my tongue to spit out onto my plate right on queue. Well, it wasn't so much as the fact that it was a real tooth in my mouth, but the fact that it still had a root on it... Lovely.

THE POSSESSED NEW TENANT

MOVIE BUFF

When the producer and myself came up with the idea of re-enacting the famous Buffalo Bill scene from Silence Of The Lambs, I knew that this was to be the most terrifying thing I have ever done. The idea is simple, a girl sets up her parents and tells them that I am her new boyfriend, and I have invited them over for dinner. When my female accomplice goes to the loo, I try and describe a film I saw by acting out the scene. This involved me dropping my dressing gown and having my thingy tucked between my legs. It all worked fine, they were mortified, and my little chap remained hidden throughout. But the people who were most freaked out were the hidden camera men who had to watch me from behind. Can't have been a pretty sight!

PISS POPS

Having grown up on a diet of Rocky Horror and Alice Cooper, the piss pops stunt was my all time fave. I was about to transform a sleepy cul-de-sac in Essex into a fully blown camp West End musical, with dancers all dressed in urinals and hose pipes squirting wee over a chorus line of kids. But the real highlight for me was rehearsing the number in a dance studio a week before. Whilst I swayed back and forth in my glitzy jacket and cane, I couldn't help but keep thinking that this was like a scene from my favourite Kenny Everett show, where, adorned in top hat and tails, he sings on a giant cup of coffee. Imagine my shock and surprise when I suddenly discover that my dance choreographer was in that very sketch! What are the chances? About as slim as my legs.

IT'S OK, IM GAY

Trying it on with a girl in front of their boyfriend must be about as stupid as eating a box of pins. But this is what I did in what I consider my bravest venture, to feel the boobs of another man's lady right in front of their face. Luckily, I had a get-out clause, as soon as they raised a fist I would simply try and calm the situation down by telling the brute that, "it's OK, I'm gay." Whilst massaging a young couple, one of whom is a very attractive lady in on the gag, and another who is a high testosteroned footballer, I proceeded to get more and more outrageous until I was filming up her skirt. Fortunately, I survived, but don't mind admitting that my hands were shaking and I was positive this would end badly. It hasn't. The other night in a bar, I overheard a group of kids shouting, "it's OK, I'm gay!" I've arrived.

Watch Ross Lee as The Pranker every Thursdays at 10.30pm.

- Watch The Pranker clips
- Catch Episode 3 on iPlayer