Iza: That's me, Iza. And that's my uncle Albert. And that's my neighbour, Tommy.

Tommy: Hurry up, slowcoach!

Iza: Tommy says he’ll look after me on my first day. Uncle Albert says I’d be better being looked after by a monkey!

Teacher: Settle down, everyone. Boys and girls, meet Iza. She's joining us, so you must show her how we do things.

Iza: Thank you, sir.

Teacher: So Iza, we’ll get along fine if you obey the rules. No speaking unless spoken to, always face the front, and always do as you're told.

Iza: Yes, sir.

Teacher: Sit down.

Now, arithmetic. Everybody, look at the Blackboard. Today you're going to recite all multiplication tables from two to twelve.

Class: Two times two is four. Two times three is six. Two times four is eight…

…ten times four is forty…

…five times nine is forty five. Five times ten is fifty.

Teacher: Thomas Johnson! Concentrate, or it’s the cane for you!

Tommy: Sorry sir!

Teacher: Okay, where were we? Let’s move onto the six times tables then…

Tommy: I’m full up, but every day it's the same boring dinner. Bean soup and dumplings.

Teacher: What was that, Johnson?

Tommy: Just said I'll clean up after dinner.

Teacher: Well, get on with it then!

And now, let’s look at some poetry. A new poem called If.

Tommy: It’s freezing in here.

Teacher: Find something amusing, Johnson?

Tommy: I was imagining if I was a clown, sir.

Teacher: You are a clown, Johnson. But not just a clown. What are you?

Tommy: A dunce, sir?

Teacher: Okay everyone, concentrate.

Iza: The British Empire and dominions. India, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, Rhodesia, Hong Kong, Gibraltar…

Tommy: What do you think of our school, then?

Iza: It was cold!

Tommy: Why do you think I drew on the slate? Dunce gets to sit closer to the fire!

Iza: Tommy!