19-year-old Kelly Swain lost son Brandon to a miscarriage four years ago, when she was six months pregnant. Kelly and dad Gavin, 24, found a note next to Brandon's grave while visiting the £70 plot, at Christchurch graveyard in Kintbury, on Christmas Eve. The note, from the church council, told the couple to remove toys from the grave by the end of February or risk them being removed. The church said it was necessary to remove the toys in order to ensure grass near the plot could be cut.  | | Gavin Swain: 'Why can't we have it how we want?' |
"Christmas drained away," says Kelly. "This is how we've made the grave and we'd like it to stay that way. It brought all the heartache back again." "We've paid for the plot," adds Gavin, "so why can't we have it how we want?" 'Holding the balance'The church says it had been approached by other families with nearby plots who "wanted to deal with their bereavement in an environment they felt appropriate". The Revd Norman Russell, Archdeacon of Berkshire, says ecclesiastical authorities will always be treading a fine line in these matters. "If it becomes impossible to maintain the churchyard it affects other grieving families as well," he told the BBC.  | | Revd Norman Russell: 'It affects other families' |
"The real difficulty for the church is holding the balance between the interests of one genuinely bereaved family and other families with graves in the area." Churchyard regulations allow objects to be left on a grave for one year before they must be removed. But the Swains remain upset that the warden resorted to leaving a note on Brandon's grave, even though the church insists it tried other methods of contact first. | 
